tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58878459065597475772024-03-17T20:04:44.546-07:00Port Macquarie Counselling and CoachingUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger139125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-64378521662622831482023-09-28T18:39:00.002-07:002023-09-28T20:40:40.372-07:00To Move or Not to Move oh the questions...<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTB-wwU_luYUnCfikPV-myd2GnuRcmt2R8aVe3oc6y56dfvcTomnpDC_cKATTQjMx1vVrUYhpuXJ9v6znAdC2O9AqaOga4U6dgIajE4WG44yJCT9BV_t2mxxA-1oo3laQ6I9d8wEn7g209CXs_kWEOhcNb1L4MMBeYxNNEOjfu8xVltY7axcci1XANy3U/s1080/new%20places%20help%20us%20look%20at%20life%20differently.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTB-wwU_luYUnCfikPV-myd2GnuRcmt2R8aVe3oc6y56dfvcTomnpDC_cKATTQjMx1vVrUYhpuXJ9v6znAdC2O9AqaOga4U6dgIajE4WG44yJCT9BV_t2mxxA-1oo3laQ6I9d8wEn7g209CXs_kWEOhcNb1L4MMBeYxNNEOjfu8xVltY7axcci1XANy3U/s400/new%20places%20help%20us%20look%20at%20life%20differently.png"/></a></div>
<p>There are a lot of things to consider when you move, and it can help to have a third party to listen to all your thoughts and concers.. If you'd like to have a session to explore this, simply send me a text and we'll arrange a time that suits.
<p>
<p><b>Steps to help you decide whether to move house.</b>
<p>Deciding whether to move or not is a significant life decision and can be influenced by a variety of factors. Here are some steps to help you make an informed decision:
<p><b>1. Clarify Your Reasons: </b>Start by understanding why you are considering a move. Is it for a new job opportunity, to be closer to family, for a change of scenery, or other reasons? Knowing your motivations will help you evaluate the move more effectively.
<p><b>2. Evaluate Your Current Situation:</b> Take a close look at your current circumstances. Assess your job, living situation, social network, and overall quality of life. Are there specific aspects of your current life that you're unhappy with and believe a move might improve?
<p><b>3. Research the Destination:</b> If you have a specific location in mind, research it thoroughly. Consider factors like cost of living, job market, climate, education, healthcare, and overall quality of life. Visit the place if possible to get a feel for it.
<p><b>4. Career and Financial Considerations:</b> If your move is job-related, evaluate the potential job prospects, salary, and career growth opportunities in the new location. Will the move enhance your career or financial stability?
<p><b>5. Personal and Family Considerations:</b> Consider how the move will impact your personal life and family. Will it bring you closer to loved ones or separate you from them? Discuss the decision with family members if it affects them as well.
<p><b>6. Pros and Cons List:</b> Create a list of pros and cons for the move. Be thorough and objective in your assessment. This can help you visualize the potential benefits and drawbacks.
<p><b>7. Financial Preparation:</b> Moving can be expensive. Create a budget that includes moving costs, housing expenses, and any other financial obligations associated with the move. Ensure you have a financial safety net in place.
<p><b>8. Timeline:</b> Consider the timing of the move. Are there any time-sensitive factors that might influence your decision, such as a job offer or family needs?
<p><b>9. Plan for the Unexpected:</b> Be prepared for unforeseen challenges or setbacks. Have a contingency plan in case things don't go as expected.
<p><b>10. Seek Advice:</b> Talk to friends, family, or mentors who have experience with moving or who know you well. They can provide valuable insights and a different perspective.
<p><b>11. Trust Your Instincts:</b> Ultimately, trust your gut feeling. Sometimes, your intuition can guide you in making the right decision.
<p><b>12. Visualize the Future:</b> Try to imagine yourself living in the new location. How do you feel about it? Does it align with your long-term goals and values?
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ3VV7ShlsJXTGU1pdgGEr7e74layfayQeqXubK6djq_JTZPuIz-ljGwoYXv_4ogTPI1P8hpjTa-56iI1YiyMeCCn6l7nrQAw2XPUxnQzLGLHI-CL-M1gR0wKM4Tx3mEAJVNTJ2GXhA03q6MmNv7CL0zEBn3pKgOEd7Iy-7k6O2xQrodZQ1D13Fedh7J8/s983/sunrise%20over%20the%20sea%20makes%20my%20heart%20sing%20portmacquariecounselling.com.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="550" data-original-height="979" data-original-width="983" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ3VV7ShlsJXTGU1pdgGEr7e74layfayQeqXubK6djq_JTZPuIz-ljGwoYXv_4ogTPI1P8hpjTa-56iI1YiyMeCCn6l7nrQAw2XPUxnQzLGLHI-CL-M1gR0wKM4Tx3mEAJVNTJ2GXhA03q6MmNv7CL0zEBn3pKgOEd7Iy-7k6O2xQrodZQ1D13Fedh7J8/s600/sunrise%20over%20the%20sea%20makes%20my%20heart%20sing%20portmacquariecounselling.com.png"/></a></div>
<p>
<p><b>13. Make a Decision:</b> After considering all the relevant factors, make a decision. Remember that no decision is entirely risk-free, so it's essential to weigh the pros and cons and commit to your choice.
<p><b>14. Plan Carefully:</b> If you decide to move, plan the logistics carefully. Ensure you have a well-thought-out moving plan and support in place.
<p><b>15. Embrace Change:</b> Moving can be a significant life change. Be open to new experiences and adaptability as you settle into your new location.
<p>Remember that the decision to move is highly personal, and what's right for one person may not be right for another. Take your time, do your research, and choose the option that aligns best with your goals and values.
<p>#Steps to help you decide whether to move house #moving houseUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-1829664056400776282023-09-28T00:40:00.007-07:002023-09-28T00:42:05.496-07:00Tips to help - Embrace Neurodiversity in Relationships <p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3wrfNcnYzDCr9zu8a62rFtrwxqHoT2JLq9ZvPK0H04SJNn3GURfTM14tExPaKfc08hWe8hEtb8sOCqdncP0Hj3VKhgr-VYK0qCUaKM16dmMup3rbYEvYexDtSUtNHSV8tJI-iwRXHFwl5EYZia0q8Aze8JL3pdV-Tz4UMX80ay-HdaaNjAbZTf2xfPEE/s1166/relationship%20quote%20www.portmacquariecounselling.com.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="550" data-original-height="977" data-original-width="1166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3wrfNcnYzDCr9zu8a62rFtrwxqHoT2JLq9ZvPK0H04SJNn3GURfTM14tExPaKfc08hWe8hEtb8sOCqdncP0Hj3VKhgr-VYK0qCUaKM16dmMup3rbYEvYexDtSUtNHSV8tJI-iwRXHFwl5EYZia0q8Aze8JL3pdV-Tz4UMX80ay-HdaaNjAbZTf2xfPEE/s600/relationship%20quote%20www.portmacquariecounselling.com.png"/></a></div>
<p>
<p>Today, I want to shed some light on a topic that's close to my heart: neurodiversity in relationships.
<p>We all bring our unique strengths and quirks into our partnerships, and sometimes these differences include neurodivergent traits. Whether you or your partner are on the autism spectrum, have ADHD, or any other neurodivergent identity, it's important to remember that these differences can add depth, richness, and new perspectives to your relationship.
<po>Here are a few tips on how to navigate and thrive in neurodiverse relationships:
<li><b>Communication is Key:</b> Open and honest communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. Take the time to understand each other's communication styles and preferences. Be patient, listen actively, and express your needs and feelings clearly.
<li> <b>Educate Yourself:</b> Learning about your partner's neurodivergent traits can help you better understand their perspective and needs. Knowledge empowers empathy and compassion.
<li> <b>Set Realistic Expectations:</b> Be mindful that your partner may have sensory sensitivities, social challenges, or other unique needs. Setting realistic expectations and boundaries can help prevent misunderstandings.
<li><b>Seek Support:</b> Don't hesitate to seek support from therapists or support groups specializing in neurodiversity. They can provide valuable insights and strategies tailored to your unique situation.
<li> <b>Celebrate Differences:</b> Embrace the differences that make your relationship unique. Neurodiversity can bring creativity, authenticity, and fresh perspectives to your life together.
<p>
<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-gpqjCnA1hVbLn0vMhA4mEN371Kr_fdxZ3ZWchmWPMhAXyN0ZO-qH0qSBApPHS0ugCedgjbysQKcQZIOHO5VB_j6EFTYML8FIv2etT6LVxzcr80j8YFLYnLtlG-CIzZi_A4u2WdtNtDkomox3M6Bmf3hF_hbK-fRyZ9uBdJfOa96TBKMFfmG9fxI7_Bo/s968/celebrate%20uniqueness%20port%20macquarie%20counselling.com.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="600" data-original-height="968" data-original-width="557" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-gpqjCnA1hVbLn0vMhA4mEN371Kr_fdxZ3ZWchmWPMhAXyN0ZO-qH0qSBApPHS0ugCedgjbysQKcQZIOHO5VB_j6EFTYML8FIv2etT6LVxzcr80j8YFLYnLtlG-CIzZi_A4u2WdtNtDkomox3M6Bmf3hF_hbK-fRyZ9uBdJfOa96TBKMFfmG9fxI7_Bo/s600/celebrate%20uniqueness%20port%20macquarie%20counselling.com.png"/></a></div>
<p>
<p>
<p><b>Understanding emotions</b> can vary greatly among neurodiverse individuals, as neurodiversity encompasses a broad spectrum of neurological differences such as autism, ADHD, and more. It's important to recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all explanation, as people with different neurodivergent traits may have distinct ways of processing and understanding emotions. However, here are some general insights into how neurodiverse individuals may perceive and interpret emotions:
<p><b>1.Sensory Sensitivities:</b> Many neurodiverse individuals have heightened sensory sensitivities, which can affect how they perceive and respond to emotions. For example, bright lights, loud noises, or strong odors may overwhelm their senses, making it challenging to focus on emotional cues.
<p><b>2. Literal Thinking:</b> Some neurodiverse individuals tend to think in concrete and literal terms. They may struggle with understanding metaphorical expressions or subtle non-verbal cues like facial expressions or body language. They may prefer direct and explicit communication.
<p><b>3. Delayed Emotional Processing:</b> Neurodiverse individuals may take longer to process and react to emotions, both their own and those of others. This delay can be due to cognitive processing differences or the need to analyze information more thoroughly.
<p><b>4. Hyperfocus and Intense Emotions:</b> Neurodiverse individuals, particularly those with ADHD, may experience intense emotions and hyperfocus on specific emotional aspects, often to the exclusion of other details. This can lead to a deep emotional understanding in certain situations.
<p><b>5. Social Challenges:</b> Some neurodiverse individuals may experience social difficulties, which can impact their ability to understand and navigate emotions within social contexts. They may struggle with recognising social cues, making friends, or interpreting social hierarchies.
<p><b>6. Empathy Variability:</b> Empathy levels can vary among neurodiverse individuals. Some may have heightened empathy, while others may find it challenging to empathize due to difficulties in recognising or understanding emotions in others.
<p><b>7. Learning and Adapting:</b> Neurodiverse individuals often learn to understand emotions through explicit teaching, therapy, or personal experience. With support and practice, many can develop effective strategies for recognizing and managing emotions.
<p><b>8. Individual Differences:</b> It's essential to remember that neurodiversity is highly individualistic, and there's a wide range of experiences within each neurodivergent category. What works for one person may not work for another, so understanding and accommodating each person's unique needs and preferences is crucial.
<p>In summary, the way neurodiverse individuals understand emotions can vary significantly based on their specific neurodivergent traits and individual differences. It's essential to approach each person with patience, empathy, and a willingness to adapt communication and support strategies to meet their unique needs.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRDEklVMNmPvbrk8CcTQFHyKN2Cl4bq8tc5zpNvIpfhPdbyCf21hSTpowsRD8ubRGWMk50QEjYfjUpW6Vq3riw3xoJsDRTA6nEubvr-YWGhKOGLwFvwxjHnRm3-GXwDZr3Yebfhc7ywYlm5ldLjmS4kyNYHS43YNJP3VFH9L8TyD-xjlyMDqrTPgwN1y4/s1159/when%20we%20take%20time%20to%20learn%20about%20communicating%20www.portmacquariecounselling.com%20quote.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="550" data-original-height="969" data-original-width="1159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRDEklVMNmPvbrk8CcTQFHyKN2Cl4bq8tc5zpNvIpfhPdbyCf21hSTpowsRD8ubRGWMk50QEjYfjUpW6Vq3riw3xoJsDRTA6nEubvr-YWGhKOGLwFvwxjHnRm3-GXwDZr3Yebfhc7ywYlm5ldLjmS4kyNYHS43YNJP3VFH9L8TyD-xjlyMDqrTPgwN1y4/s600/when%20we%20take%20time%20to%20learn%20about%20communicating%20www.portmacquariecounselling.com%20quote.png"/></a></div>
<p>Remember, every relationship has its challenges, but with love, patience, and understanding, you can build a strong and beautiful bond with your neurodiverse partner.
<p>#NeurodiversityInLove #LoveAndUnderstanding #StrongerTogetherUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-3178415362769887372023-07-24T22:36:00.003-07:002023-07-24T22:36:19.402-07:00Grief - Feeling Sadness - Mourning
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<p>In all our lives, at one time or another, we will all face loss. Loss comes in so many forms, maybe it's a loved one, a relationship, a pet, a business, a betrayal, a friendship. I'm sure if you are reading these words, you will have something come to mind.
<p>Recently a friend of mine lost her beautiful dog, she didn't get lost, she died. I had grown quite fond of this little mutt, and found tears running down my cheeks as I read the message from her.
<p>Grief is the emotion we experience when we lose something we hold dear. Grief can be a mixed up jumble of all sorts of feelings; anger, sadness, guilt, joy, frustration, relief, confusion, numbness, fear, hope, resentment. We can feel some or all of these at various times after loss, and all of them are OK. I hear you yell, no they're not OK. It can really hurt, when you are grieving, a lot, it can feel like it will never end.
<p>Maybe a dam of tears has burst and you cry at the least little thing, or you can't stop crying.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglk6vHBvfj8htPYB9Z98mo2N7kUzm0goXkBDCeKKh7XhrEuqDIKwjxtCnPkKR6_iOUEFzYfE9dSGNwx-jlSc_bT5uhIu1kx5DKe9A6zod4mEw4tLuoopEvjxcSESTt27AJB_H8SQkNcJrTQi0ZlUHIZXUcbdolAVnx7Pzsw1fBXBYGM_HfcNW_8aezX2Y/s1332/i%20miss%20you%20every%20day.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="560" data-original-height="1332" data-original-width="1080" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglk6vHBvfj8htPYB9Z98mo2N7kUzm0goXkBDCeKKh7XhrEuqDIKwjxtCnPkKR6_iOUEFzYfE9dSGNwx-jlSc_bT5uhIu1kx5DKe9A6zod4mEw4tLuoopEvjxcSESTt27AJB_H8SQkNcJrTQi0ZlUHIZXUcbdolAVnx7Pzsw1fBXBYGM_HfcNW_8aezX2Y/s600/i%20miss%20you%20every%20day.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p>Quote from The Power of Positivity on Instagram
<p>A few years ago my mother died after a long battle in the hospital, at first I was doing OK. But then I moved, and the house I bought rather than being my dream home, had rain pouring in through the roof. One thing after the other, like a tsunami effect happened. And suddenly all the varying losses, unleashed a waterfall of tears that I just could not stop. No mum to talk to, she would have been a great counsellor, and the missing her started, a good six months after her loss.
<p>So I went to see some therapists, and what I faced was people trying to fix me, instead of just sitting with me and hearing about my pain.
<p>You see those emotions need a release, and tears are one way that the body releases. It's rare to find someone, who can just be present and comfortable enough to let you cry.
<p>So if you are going through grief and feelings are coming up, give yourself space to mourn. If you have one, ask a good friend to listen, reassure them, that they don't have to do anything other than listen. Journal your thoughts, and feelings. Write letters to the person you lost. It's something we go through, and over time, the feelings will get easier to bear and the tears will get less and less. If you can't find a friend to reach out to, give me a call, I am very comfortable listening to, and being present to grief.
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/k1pMrZxMrZc" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<p>Kyle Cease: on grief...
<p>You don’t go into winter with the intention to get to summer. You don’t mourn a person in order to get over them.
<p>So why do we move right past our feelings in order to find oneness, have a positive life, or anything else?
<p>Maybe it’s time to just feel what we feel, with no outcome in mind.
<p>Maybe our patterns need to be honored and not rushed through.
<p>Maybe it’s time to give the parts of us that are ready to go, a big thank you and a big funeral.
<p><a href="https://speakinggrief.org/get-better-at-grief/understanding-grief/each-grief-is-different">Each Grief is Different</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-35669820682701504442023-06-30T22:24:00.001-07:002023-06-30T22:24:45.247-07:00Russell Brand talking with Steven Barlett on Addiction and Recovery<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibEanJRbtcLs8HsTmE-dGyvJq00UCACw1EEAY5oMcPf0uIAlvyVGGQY-ll--hI6eFbx-LoCG-kEv0PWBpJBTh7TEqtryCN_10WXO85Hzxdsj5g_FSbPRKsbUfFpJwWyK4IjF2-2vAL0HQiiSLYyPI58tyDsf2Rwus0pGH5DD5UgYcBoIJUUyMDbTkDqh0/s3840/2559162-Russell-Brand-Quote-Addiction-is-a-serious-desease-it-will-end.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="550" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="3840" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibEanJRbtcLs8HsTmE-dGyvJq00UCACw1EEAY5oMcPf0uIAlvyVGGQY-ll--hI6eFbx-LoCG-kEv0PWBpJBTh7TEqtryCN_10WXO85Hzxdsj5g_FSbPRKsbUfFpJwWyK4IjF2-2vAL0HQiiSLYyPI58tyDsf2Rwus0pGH5DD5UgYcBoIJUUyMDbTkDqh0/s600/2559162-Russell-Brand-Quote-Addiction-is-a-serious-desease-it-will-end.jpeg"/></a></div>
<br>Russell Brand FINALLY Opens Up:
<p>Escaping A Lifetime Of Anxiety, Addiction & Finding Love!
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/EXUpMMde51E" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<p>
<p>
<p>One of the best talks that I've heard from Russell Brand. If you or a loved one needs help for addiction, this talk may give you some insights.
<p>
<p>If you would like to learn more about The Recovery Steps that Russell mentions in the talk above, here is a video for you...
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lK083EvyiMI" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<p>
<p>Russell On The Twelve Step Program...
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYID8sKTlua4PSk9ZJGdYZIqfipo8dvYWLT3ktltOIIta3UT0uonqOz8YTBJmomNVbXN5nOJmKoglSbfZHvXVVVn0DFyxZhD8lKc0VKAZ3LT3BXzSWUSN4eDsEzi7yT04hzv-jysM_hJYbpilXPsvAkin3VEl-JNFSof7jtiqeIAcgeQfblGid72WjofY/s832/Screen%20Shot%202023-07-01%20at%203.20.17%20pm.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="600" data-original-height="832" data-original-width="531" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYID8sKTlua4PSk9ZJGdYZIqfipo8dvYWLT3ktltOIIta3UT0uonqOz8YTBJmomNVbXN5nOJmKoglSbfZHvXVVVn0DFyxZhD8lKc0VKAZ3LT3BXzSWUSN4eDsEzi7yT04hzv-jysM_hJYbpilXPsvAkin3VEl-JNFSof7jtiqeIAcgeQfblGid72WjofY/s600/Screen%20Shot%202023-07-01%20at%203.20.17%20pm.png"/></a></div>
<p><a href="https://www.russellbrand.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/russell-brand-recovery-the-program.pdf">Click here for Recovery The Program.pdf</a>
<p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iSqClrVIsko" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-15986011133351439802023-06-11T21:43:00.010-07:002023-06-11T21:53:45.824-07:00Alcohol and Your Brain Health
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDs1U82n_-UXJDaurCVQjhdn1ONz6HXfsc-hXvxvLNokYwMuXGSa_wcj-kwO_728F00kwHEhPm1MWr2hG-gO1D4BNREpeyL04ZNAXBy0jiz4dGwhR6TfwpoqW7wv1ku4g4LuF85guBk_oxRMCrzQKkcQOLVQaS7HkFgV8s_TkhiSLtLTwD1MJ3FhuM/s800/alcohol%20and%20the%20brain.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="500" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDs1U82n_-UXJDaurCVQjhdn1ONz6HXfsc-hXvxvLNokYwMuXGSa_wcj-kwO_728F00kwHEhPm1MWr2hG-gO1D4BNREpeyL04ZNAXBy0jiz4dGwhR6TfwpoqW7wv1ku4g4LuF85guBk_oxRMCrzQKkcQOLVQaS7HkFgV8s_TkhiSLtLTwD1MJ3FhuM/s400/alcohol%20and%20the%20brain.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p>We’ve all heard the claims that alcohol is good for your health. The media is quick to cite studies saying that a glass of wine a day reduces the risk of heart attack and that drinking two glasses of wine or beer a day has been linked to a longer life. Sounds good, but what does alcohol do to the brain?
<p>When it comes to that 3-pound supercomputer in your head, the news isn’t so rosy. Brain SPECT imaging studies at Amen Clinics, which has built the world’s largest database of functional brain scans related to behavior, as well as other research show that alcohol can damage the brain in ways that might make you think twice the next time you’re ordering at the bar.
<p><font color="teal"><b>1. Shrinks brain volume</b></font color>
<p>People who drink just 1-7 drinks per week have smaller brains than nondrinkers, according to a 2008 study at Johns Hopkins that appeared in Archives of Neurology. This same research found that people who have 2 or more drinks per day have even more brain shrinkage.
<p>Changes in the brain can occur early. A 2020 study in Scientific Reports found that moderate drinking was associated with lower total brain volume in early middle age (ages 39-45) in both males and females.
<p>Research on adolescents and alcohol consumption in Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience showed that those who became heavy drinkers between the ages of 12-17 compared to those who did not drink alcohol started out with less brain volume and lost even more brain volume over time. When it comes to the brain, size matters!
<p><font color="teal"><b> 2. Lowers blood flow to the brain</b></font color>
<p>The brain scans of heavy drinkers show reduced overall blood flow to the brain. The brain uses 20% of the blood flow in your body and it is critical for healthy brain function.
<p>When levels are low it can lead to a laundry list of problems—brain fog, poor decision-making, trouble concentrating, impulsivity, and more. It’s especially important to know that low blood flow on brain scans is the #1 predictor of future memory problems and Alzheimer’s disease.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdh2Wxr3qxs3USdzObY-FSluzfavWGue9j1aOQqE9PTVoOalsXhjl2zj4NORw8L9j_fOFGW014-c0g4TnGCe6cBtNTyCZmfFbHoNEyXe5h7V7vuo-oKhIpO2Gx3t_3_jLv-8JGdx1dofzXuXvUgJcknkaEWKRSzrM9XYvIZ4I6WJtMCk_u5z6n54si/s500/spect%20scan%20image%20heavy%20alcohol%20abuse.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="500" data-original-height="599" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdh2Wxr3qxs3USdzObY-FSluzfavWGue9j1aOQqE9PTVoOalsXhjl2zj4NORw8L9j_fOFGW014-c0g4TnGCe6cBtNTyCZmfFbHoNEyXe5h7V7vuo-oKhIpO2Gx3t_3_jLv-8JGdx1dofzXuXvUgJcknkaEWKRSzrM9XYvIZ4I6WJtMCk_u5z6n54si/s400/spect%20scan%20image%20heavy%20alcohol%20abuse.png"/></a></div>
<p><center>Spect Brain Scan Heavy Alcohol Abuse</center>
<p><font color="teal"><b>3. Causes atrophy of the hippocampus</b></font color>
<p>Drinking 1-2 glasses of wine a day, which is considered “moderate” drinking, leads to atrophy in the hippocampus, according to a 30-year study of 550 women and men that was published in 2017 in BMJ.
<p>The hippocampus is a critical brain region for learning and memory. In this study, people who had 4 or more drinks per day were 6 times more likely to have atrophy in this critically important region of the brain compared with nondrinkers, and moderate drinkers had 3 times the risk.
<p>The researchers noted that they found no protective effects from light drinking. And higher alcohol use was also linked to changes in the microstructure of the corpus callosum, a thick bundle of nerve fibers that connect the two hemispheres of the brain and that is involved in allowing both sides of the brain to communicate effectively.
<p><font color="teal"><b>4. Reduces the number of new brain cells</b></font color>
<p>Excessive alcohol consumption lowers the generation of new brain cells, especially in the hippocampus, according to animal research presented at Neuroscience in 2009. In the study, monkeys that consumed alcohol experienced a 58% decline in the number of new brain cells formed and a 63% reduction in the survival rate of new brain cells.
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<p><font color="teal"><b>5. Increases the risk of dementia</b></font color>
<p>Compared with non-drinkers and light drinkers, moderate to heavy drinkers have a 57% higher risk of dementia, according to research in The Journals of Gerontology, Series A. Drinking can literally make you lose your mind.
<p><font color="teal"><b>ALCOHOL ABUSE AND THE BRAIN</b></font color>
<p>In people who abuse alcohol, the impacts on the brain can be even greater. A wealth of evidence, including findings in a 2016 review in Frontiers in Psychiatry, suggests that certain brain regions, such as the prefrontal cortex (involved in decision-making, impulse control, planning, and follow-through) and the hippocampus (involved in memory, mood, and learning), experience the most damage from long-term abuse of alcohol.
<p>
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGoqpD1NNNJM70kyw4LdWVoT5SwOlXKXymHStNVnLwGA2zQRwWNMeztixPTI-lgv9w7eFUaXXiJF2b0lbJ_URteRr3TcPDIURPjhmsJpHWkYc5zrrRGqoraRkW73CR34orwGOy2rpTZFmeyfXg1cBavVJiObNAHX2oIGmK4dEJc8Z-tbmdXsFrnbDS/s609/healthy%20happy%20brain.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="500" data-original-height="571" data-original-width="609" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGoqpD1NNNJM70kyw4LdWVoT5SwOlXKXymHStNVnLwGA2zQRwWNMeztixPTI-lgv9w7eFUaXXiJF2b0lbJ_URteRr3TcPDIURPjhmsJpHWkYc5zrrRGqoraRkW73CR34orwGOy2rpTZFmeyfXg1cBavVJiObNAHX2oIGmK4dEJc8Z-tbmdXsFrnbDS/s600/healthy%20happy%20brain.png"/></a></div>
<p>
<p><font color="teal"><b> BRAIN REHAB PROGRAM</b></font color>
<p><b>Although these findings paint a grim picture of alcohol’s impact on the brain, the effects don’t have to be permanent. You are not stuck with the brain you have. Brain imaging studies at Amen Clinics show that the brains of heavy drinkers and alcohol abusers have the potential for recovery. </b>
<p>Before-and-after SPECT scans in patients who follow a brain rehab program show remarkable improvements in blood flow and activity in the brain. Additional scientific evidence has found that the cognitive deficits related to damage to the prefrontal cortex recover more rapidly than those associated with the hippocampus.
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<br>
<p><font color="teal"><b>To rehab your brain, follow these tips:</b></font color>
<p>
<li>Stop poisoning your brain with alcohol.
<p>
<li>Love your brain.
<p>
<li>Fuel your brain with nutrient-dense foods.
<p>
<li>Avoid sugar in all its forms.
<p>
<li>Eliminate things that lower blood flow, including too much caffeine or smoking.
<p>
<li>Learn to kill the ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) that steal your happiness.
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<p>Article from Doc Amen <a href="https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/5-scary-ways-alcohol-damages-the-brain/">click here to visit Amen Clinics</a>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-12581260219685284462023-05-17T22:55:00.015-07:002023-05-17T23:17:17.654-07:00Addiction - "Find your nature, and be nice to yourself" - Gabor Mate<p><center><font color="teal"><font size="4"><b>"My definition of addiction is any behaviour that gives you temporary relief, temporary pleasure, but in the long term causes harm, has some negative consequences and you can't give it up, despite those negative consequences."</b> </font color></font size></b> - Gabor Mate</center>
<p>"There are many many addictions, yes there's the addiction to drugs, but there's also the addiction to consumerism, the addiction to sex, to the internet, to shopping, to food."
<p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/66cYcSak6nE" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<p>Canadian physician Gabor Maté is a specialist in terminal illnesses, chemical dependents, and HIV positive patients.
<p>Dr. Maté is a renowned author of books and columnist known for his knowledge about attention deficit disorder, stress, chronic illness and parental relations.
<p>His theme at TEDxRio+20 was addiction -- from drugs to power. From the lack of love to the desire to escape oneself, from susceptibility of the being to interior power -- nothing escapes.
<p><center><font color="teal"><font size="4"><b>And he risks a generic and generous prescription:<br> "Find your nature and be nice to yourself."</b> </font color></font size></b> - Gabor Mate</center>
<p>Compassionate Inquiry is a psychotherapeutic method developed by Dr. Gabor Maté that reveals what lies beneath the appearance we present to the world.
<p>Using Compassionate Inquiry, the therapist unveils the level of consciousness, mental climate, hidden assumptions, implicit memories and body states that form the real message that words both express and conceal.
<p>Through Compassionate Inquiry, the client can recognize the unconscious dynamics that run their lives and how to liberate themselves from them.
<p>
<p><a href="https://drgabormate.com/">Dr Gabor Mate.com</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-80957253345735069542023-04-16T22:20:00.003-07:002023-04-16T22:28:55.202-07:00Marriage Minute - Pay Attention to Your Relationship<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt2dKRJ1Tgart82bFgl7YwEVlfOwrqmED_iCO-SfCB7Wfuieht85v7RqaNwn2e7hA9Hpp5SOZDwOx7qOvoAw6wgr8D1fWNSGx6SlEYqRsG9PJ8FDG00xiooLPyZioYSu-H1cBgqFCfIY3y8-sllXztHGiQvvBw9Sip5abl1SXayOoDfN1Y9f23sorj/s4000/IMG20200408143357.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt2dKRJ1Tgart82bFgl7YwEVlfOwrqmED_iCO-SfCB7Wfuieht85v7RqaNwn2e7hA9Hpp5SOZDwOx7qOvoAw6wgr8D1fWNSGx6SlEYqRsG9PJ8FDG00xiooLPyZioYSu-H1cBgqFCfIY3y8-sllXztHGiQvvBw9Sip5abl1SXayOoDfN1Y9f23sorj/s400/IMG20200408143357.jpg"/></a></div>
<p><center>Small things make a difference in relationships.
<p>Little things add up over time...</center>
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuLdlSGyhsm0Zg3c0bw2FXalBIC7yEl7b6j7WIDK3EjYZD6oVhIz6_TXVm7S9RtD_m_sJEO-YY2DUdcF_Mce-jukvS5j01zRBKXnDJn8Zd116a2Xe-Rl_0x3QnDwA_UMXISmwuOz1Uamrus_fn_ghopH5Ykz3sQtKUvUCvN1hmLExW8XveAiwDK0Rx/s930/Pay%20Attention%20to%20your%20parnter.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="600" data-original-height="930" data-original-width="603" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuLdlSGyhsm0Zg3c0bw2FXalBIC7yEl7b6j7WIDK3EjYZD6oVhIz6_TXVm7S9RtD_m_sJEO-YY2DUdcF_Mce-jukvS5j01zRBKXnDJn8Zd116a2Xe-Rl_0x3QnDwA_UMXISmwuOz1Uamrus_fn_ghopH5Ykz3sQtKUvUCvN1hmLExW8XveAiwDK0Rx/s600/Pay%20Attention%20to%20your%20parnter.png"/></a></div>
<p>
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<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AKTyPgwfPgg" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-77205144510862393872023-04-04T20:24:00.003-07:002023-04-16T22:32:35.428-07:00Getting Right With Yourself<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4sazw97mTYuRwCpnlwL8ftsW3GDYzlfmaLrpEYsSDxx82UXho2kdrH8OQzR7K4XzHnIckrM-EdDsedMedsIZRjUrJvGB82mciMDQqPhHbMI2ZiYgYYzNBmhNpjnaZk79-ZTUOrk-gQ2kJJNMyLggjpHFkXP344dGd8CeVAS83N2tR97rNTd4szAQy/s2000/person%20in%20ocean.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="1333" data-original-width="2000" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4sazw97mTYuRwCpnlwL8ftsW3GDYzlfmaLrpEYsSDxx82UXho2kdrH8OQzR7K4XzHnIckrM-EdDsedMedsIZRjUrJvGB82mciMDQqPhHbMI2ZiYgYYzNBmhNpjnaZk79-ZTUOrk-gQ2kJJNMyLggjpHFkXP344dGd8CeVAS83N2tR97rNTd4szAQy/s400/person%20in%20ocean.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p><font color="teal">"Getting right with yourself is to start being a healthy parent to yourself. Having a healthy parent onboard means you are treating yourself with compassion and making sense of the world. The definition of the healthy parent ego, or voice is called the Nurturing, Structuring Parent." John Skandalis</font color>
<p>After yoga most weeks we have a coffee and chat. I brought up the question of why we tend to attract the same types of partners into our lives, one after the other. I posed the question, 'do you think once we get right with ourselves then we stop attracting partners who are similar to the one's before?'
<p>One person asked, 'what does it mean to get right with yourself?'
<p>It's an interesting question isn't it... what does the question bring up for you?
<p>John Scandalis suggests...
<p><i>So, the idea of getting right with yourself means learning how to have compassion for your shortcomings and not judge yourself unduly. Another way to look at it is being a good parent to yourself. We treat, or parent ourselves, the way we were treated by our parents. This if often in a judgmental and critical way.</i>
<p><b>Attracting the same type of partner over and over who treats you less than.</b>
<p>I often have people attending for counselling wondering why they find themselves attracting partners who display the same types of behaviour - whether they cheat, treat you badly, don't listen, are never there for you, and find yourself again on the merry-go-round from hell, again and again. Have you wondered why this happens?
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivevOkOxkatwcWtzd7kYkbtHhkpw_gtLdg9SC5s6LHgxiQ0hhRmkugmzZYhCKEQOhlMoYaU1aYmFvtF_RzcYjyqa5xIYHlZJsnn6GfsThgeyZZjtz9HDT-yQrEuL7qsoS_7bMKwu2qbf8484l4TCLIOfaAWV6XOb_Oq_Q3W_VxxIr8TN8c97hNXBPh/s940/merry%20go%20round%20from%20hell.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="626" data-original-width="940" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivevOkOxkatwcWtzd7kYkbtHhkpw_gtLdg9SC5s6LHgxiQ0hhRmkugmzZYhCKEQOhlMoYaU1aYmFvtF_RzcYjyqa5xIYHlZJsnn6GfsThgeyZZjtz9HDT-yQrEuL7qsoS_7bMKwu2qbf8484l4TCLIOfaAWV6XOb_Oq_Q3W_VxxIr8TN8c97hNXBPh/s400/merry%20go%20round%20from%20hell.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p>A <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/06/190610160248.htm"> study</a> from the University of Toronto finds that people typically date a similar type of person, and usually gravitate towards this type no matter the circumstances.
<p><i>"The degree of consistency from one relationship to the next suggests that people may indeed have a 'type'," says MacDonald. "And though our data do not make clear why people's partners exhibit similar personalities, it is noteworthy that we found partner similarity above and beyond similarity to oneself."</i>
<p>Can it be that they mirror the beliefs that you hold deep in the unconscious? Perhaps you meet a person who is good with words, and as a child growing up, you didn't hear words of encouragement. So you look for a partner who can give you that. However, in the process, you miss their behaviours.
<p>Tina B. Tessina PhD, in her book, Dr Romance's Finding Love Today says...
<p>“When you’re operating within old, familiar patterns, you don’t need to think about what you’re doing. Your body is wired to do familiar things without having to think about them. This leaves your mind free to wander and to de-stress,” Tessina explains.
<p>When it comes to buying groceries, this mental shortcut can be extremely convenient, but in relationships, they may not always be a good thing.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCPHrvagD5IITrw01PzsAapDgYw_nbN_Vp9q3VV00RJ9qnutwLDWqXLmzfhTtfZp7wz2qyMk7XS6wCxJj-A2flutnwa-spdke993Je7kc7QEG_FJWyhNWq7k9PsdzNldV_knQ2tAWcAual5_AYa3EF4MbiJGKlb2glKbne0G3MlCUtqX5xSkmpQz8_/s609/getting%20right%20with%20yourself%20to%20combat%20repeated%20relationship%20types.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="415" data-original-width="609" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCPHrvagD5IITrw01PzsAapDgYw_nbN_Vp9q3VV00RJ9qnutwLDWqXLmzfhTtfZp7wz2qyMk7XS6wCxJj-A2flutnwa-spdke993Je7kc7QEG_FJWyhNWq7k9PsdzNldV_knQ2tAWcAual5_AYa3EF4MbiJGKlb2glKbne0G3MlCUtqX5xSkmpQz8_/s400/getting%20right%20with%20yourself%20to%20combat%20repeated%20relationship%20types.png"/></a></div>
<p>For example, if you grow up around violent people, addicts, or those who are emotionally unavailable, as an adult, you will already know how to deal with them, so they feel familiar, she says. “It’s comforting in an irrational way.”
<p>So when you find yourself in a pattern of attracting similar people in relationships, reach out to someone you can talk to, and investigate ways to leave that old merry-go-round that really isn't so merry.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-56265594637002835612023-03-26T20:33:00.004-07:002023-03-26T20:47:56.664-07:00The Power of Deep Listening<p>A cartoon to start us off...
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUAcrgAHCy2QCx21hbGNs-LLQT2XKf8bwd2AEE30n556yaiWh-7fzXcp1I51Kk7SnWtp0HxOAzVmk19lFQnbr-1Gihz0anErkaBRX47ICaraTIAfALftYjsDIV7hKaoN1Yd1vU5yKHd2Sts3v-VWJtzrLGgspxnJhaRh-e99bp_mtSTclbI3LtYCxJ/s270/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-27%20at%201.47.10%20pm.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="199" data-original-width="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUAcrgAHCy2QCx21hbGNs-LLQT2XKf8bwd2AEE30n556yaiWh-7fzXcp1I51Kk7SnWtp0HxOAzVmk19lFQnbr-1Gihz0anErkaBRX47ICaraTIAfALftYjsDIV7hKaoN1Yd1vU5yKHd2Sts3v-VWJtzrLGgspxnJhaRh-e99bp_mtSTclbI3LtYCxJ/s400/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-27%20at%201.47.10%20pm.png"/></a></div>
<p>There's a couple sitting together watching TV, and she turns to him and says 'you know you only hear the things you want to hear'. He responds, 'a beer sounds lovely, thank you'.
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RfpEfni_t_4" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<p>The first of a two part series from Tara Brach.
<p>What will help us humans evolve beyond our separate realities, that end up creating so much distrust, and fear and violence? What will bridge the divides?
<p>Listening deeply is the gateway to realizing connection. It’s what allows us to move through life with a wise, loving and healing presence.
<p>These two talks explore our blocks to true listening, and offer teachings and practices that can directly cultivate this invaluable capacity.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-31910480843719846762023-03-18T19:05:00.000-07:002023-03-18T19:05:05.675-07:00The Emotional Bank AccountAll I seem to hear these days, is people talking about money, how prices have gone up, property values, and how difficult it is for young ones to start.
<p>And that's all true, however, I rarely hear anyone talking about Relationships and how they are investing in them.
<p>
<br>
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9lsSSRgr7EwJKqWHFSQ9jw0eJzzQQP_W-6GKSRIP9I5eVsnMVRLZ51D-l9oelVps8kbmt7V3fpoU35V5dlWuU6Jpk3V2frsQaN1ev9FhB4vR3xATK0_z2Wx0sj9Op_YWt0T9xyhxced7ixLfn-nN3JLgXnAa0kWug0cRTptj_yp_0vNNAQ01A_KA3/s960/piggy%20bank.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9lsSSRgr7EwJKqWHFSQ9jw0eJzzQQP_W-6GKSRIP9I5eVsnMVRLZ51D-l9oelVps8kbmt7V3fpoU35V5dlWuU6Jpk3V2frsQaN1ev9FhB4vR3xATK0_z2Wx0sj9Op_YWt0T9xyhxced7ixLfn-nN3JLgXnAa0kWug0cRTptj_yp_0vNNAQ01A_KA3/s400/piggy%20bank.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p>
<br>
<p>Have you ever thought about your relationship from an investment perspective?
<p>If you're an accountant, or you have an investment mindset, you may have. The first time I heard about the concept it was when learning from The Gottman Institute.
<p>
<br>
<p>From The Gottmans... "Did you know that the number one thing couples fight about is nothing?
<p>After observing thousands of couples in our Love Lab for more than four decades, we discovered that most couples were not arguing about specific topics like finances, sex, parenting, or dealing with difficult in-laws.
<p>Instead, they were fighting about a failure to emotionally connect, and likely didn’t even know it.
<p>We realized how, instead of having productive conflict discussions about tangible issues, couples were really arguing about how one partner may not pay much attention to the other’s needs, or may not express much interest in things that their partner cares about.
<p>While the science behind what drives couples to lose their emotional connection can be quite complex, we use a simple concept that can help couples reconnect: <b>The Emotional Bank Account.</b>"
<p>
<br>
<p>
<P>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QHN2EKd9tuE" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-65453028606609354752023-03-14T22:46:00.007-07:002023-03-15T16:52:20.602-07:00Who doesn't like a compliment?When we read about how to improve our relationships, often our minds go to the partner we live with.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-jTtNBETtjiVYpNNylArg-yd4uSs5FAjsda8uNk-EzoC-zFdO5xbhNiHcxI8BGp8vAQ8kFoAuK88vhUCRGLq-0I5ww9-MFHSMjzuBq9LXSum6m839W-YbWvnTJiPnEaGJIVWUMJ_hrskcgt_pBOL5rdeoqErkaVyrBPV4ADAH5nSxY0vG5_lFoJQm/s1080/give%20your%20partner%20a%20compliment%20for%20a%20dopamine%20boost.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-jTtNBETtjiVYpNNylArg-yd4uSs5FAjsda8uNk-EzoC-zFdO5xbhNiHcxI8BGp8vAQ8kFoAuK88vhUCRGLq-0I5ww9-MFHSMjzuBq9LXSum6m839W-YbWvnTJiPnEaGJIVWUMJ_hrskcgt_pBOL5rdeoqErkaVyrBPV4ADAH5nSxY0vG5_lFoJQm/s400/give%20your%20partner%20a%20compliment%20for%20a%20dopamine%20boost.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p>However, whether it is a partner, family member or friend many of the concepts are the same.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmUl6OAf2kUy4I8H4gXx9BuiZWhEUCMDNl-UhIR_mkgOMhZfMQhflMlghbEtrA0vzSGUWf2j6oNNFhxX8SgeHept1oCe_zOuazlCHM0WacZeXVbw6SdB6WDDxGiCwD2Fd3-dVQQ2Uep2koe4YcKFXlr8wDytGiavT-zixIk0dJcYztLnr1ytmmqA1p/s800/compliment%20it%20really%20makes%20my%20day%20when.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="800" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmUl6OAf2kUy4I8H4gXx9BuiZWhEUCMDNl-UhIR_mkgOMhZfMQhflMlghbEtrA0vzSGUWf2j6oNNFhxX8SgeHept1oCe_zOuazlCHM0WacZeXVbw6SdB6WDDxGiCwD2Fd3-dVQQ2Uep2koe4YcKFXlr8wDytGiavT-zixIk0dJcYztLnr1ytmmqA1p/s400/compliment%20it%20really%20makes%20my%20day%20when.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p>Let's look at compliments. Do you compliment more than you criticise? If so, your relationship could be heading towards trouble if it's not already.
<p><p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHh3Sr-x9HwS6xH3akQ_koS9ZjsDH9fs0JH5Aa2fWhOCdhTbul9gdEoE_NkJyTYub6b2hIE2q9VeQCkWZpRg1hMfIdVuM0yyvxHJf3l6xrT7vs7YvN5yDEhDUECVlPJVHto7yJOQX_W3Wo2oIc4W8_SMVA0bmNkCYgbS6E1YpVOU2ou-CrzfBqrK-f/s1331/compliment%20i%20really%20appreciate%20that%20you%20are.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="400" data-original-height="1331" data-original-width="1080" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHh3Sr-x9HwS6xH3akQ_koS9ZjsDH9fs0JH5Aa2fWhOCdhTbul9gdEoE_NkJyTYub6b2hIE2q9VeQCkWZpRg1hMfIdVuM0yyvxHJf3l6xrT7vs7YvN5yDEhDUECVlPJVHto7yJOQX_W3Wo2oIc4W8_SMVA0bmNkCYgbS6E1YpVOU2ou-CrzfBqrK-f/s400/compliment%20i%20really%20appreciate%20that%20you%20are.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p> So today, a take action challenge is to think about giving your partner or friend or family member a genuine compliment. Then take action.
<p><font color="teal"><b>Journal exercises:</b></font color> notice what happens when you compliment someone. Were they able to receive the compliment? Sometimes people laugh it off, or deflect, occasionally they say 'thank you'. Keep complimenting, small things make big differences in our relationsips.
<p>Take note of when you are criticising, and when you are being criticised. Write about when it occured, the people involved, how did it feel? Do the same exercise for compliments.
<p>Call 0408 792 747 to book a session
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-83591474587573983302023-02-15T20:51:00.013-08:002023-02-15T21:12:08.600-08:00Plugging The Money Leaks or, Recovering a Sense of Abundance or, Being Mindful with Money.<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigUxvPvAWjWWjZRGQxOsOp8YMoxTNjXzzssccNZo3jljz4K8L7QdMQFnZjZr0p7CDipJxY_hYTJBW2x-xKB9lNMIa7GSGYfaeuO_z89E1mDo2CBnzeNebiOxdGGJ33lHDYx39ZmVLXsKy7N8zZUMrivMCXo5sYpIlBJ6NgD1cEAr5RhZDbwD8sfhmc/s542/%20plug%20the%20money%20leaks%20port%20macquarie%20counselling.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="343" data-original-width="542" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigUxvPvAWjWWjZRGQxOsOp8YMoxTNjXzzssccNZo3jljz4K8L7QdMQFnZjZr0p7CDipJxY_hYTJBW2x-xKB9lNMIa7GSGYfaeuO_z89E1mDo2CBnzeNebiOxdGGJ33lHDYx39ZmVLXsKy7N8zZUMrivMCXo5sYpIlBJ6NgD1cEAr5RhZDbwD8sfhmc/s400/%20plug%20the%20money%20leaks%20port%20macquarie%20counselling.png"/></a></div>
<p>It seems like everytime I go to the supermarket lately, I am becoming more and more aware of how high the cost of food has become, and continues to grow. With rising mortgage fees and the cost of living, we need to put more focus on our spending than ever before.
<p>I was chatting with a friend who is struggling financially, on the age pension, and was complaining that she can't afford to take holidays. Yet I notice that she spends money on things that don't give her any benefits, like her ATM fees.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtcEdaJRUDZ-uArgvPkCS0AIdFxgRH1tQNJh5V3x3RWZ9ohohJdLl20s8NCECwRsiqrwd4aZMB5Gq4Ynshv9_N_80I3KdiB5T4Tij3jMi9du9CM_Xu6Y7wv09vgCiAl9KG1bhN7DeOn0aH2rvClESu-ik2UxoJ-ckPMZZMdBP_nDoruQLxt60xgmss/s804/money%20quote%20wealth%20is%20not%20about%20having%20a%20lot%20of%20money.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="446" data-original-width="804" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtcEdaJRUDZ-uArgvPkCS0AIdFxgRH1tQNJh5V3x3RWZ9ohohJdLl20s8NCECwRsiqrwd4aZMB5Gq4Ynshv9_N_80I3KdiB5T4Tij3jMi9du9CM_Xu6Y7wv09vgCiAl9KG1bhN7DeOn0aH2rvClESu-ik2UxoJ-ckPMZZMdBP_nDoruQLxt60xgmss/s400/money%20quote%20wealth%20is%20not%20about%20having%20a%20lot%20of%20money.jpg"/></a></div>
<p>So I suggested that we sit down together and explore where her money leaks were. We all have them, an app we no longer use, a gym membership that we pay for and never attend. A website we've joined and forgot to cancel the subscription to. That extra treat at the cafe.
<p>For me it was when I first started learning Hypnosis. I thought I'd paid for a course, and a few months later realised that I'd been paying a subscription. It may be buying food you never eat and throw away, or paying too much for a phone or internet contract. If you think about it, something will come to mind.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWFJAnMOY1vFL26trge4j5P2Ig3BilugX3v3yM7kzKI9rwLvJAWO5PaZ948dheZL56XNlIaTkAasuOR7igVVF0AdqNxYPkrLLf99ozHoiscbm3RCd3wFZEsNYK4Nbhbk4jHZitvuwuIl0pnCxYNVhCGFxBbxJeZfVGiHV_K_ffSW4o-quFX6YPf2yO/s714/Norweigan%20Cruise%20Ship.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="449" data-original-width="714" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWFJAnMOY1vFL26trge4j5P2Ig3BilugX3v3yM7kzKI9rwLvJAWO5PaZ948dheZL56XNlIaTkAasuOR7igVVF0AdqNxYPkrLLf99ozHoiscbm3RCd3wFZEsNYK4Nbhbk4jHZitvuwuIl0pnCxYNVhCGFxBbxJeZfVGiHV_K_ffSW4o-quFX6YPf2yO/s400/Norweigan%20Cruise%20Ship.png"/></a></div>
<p><center>Perhaps you'd like to go on a cruise with that money</center>
<p>Anyway, Susan and I worked out her ATM fees alone were costing her over $300 per year. Now when you're on a pension, that's a lot of money, going nowhere. She said that she couldn't change that habit as if she had the money in her purse that she'd spend it.
<p>More recently she discovered a money leak where she'd been paying out $18 a month each month to a photo designing app that she'd never used. The money was coming out of her PayPal account. The money counting exercise from The Artist's Way came to my mind, and I shared it with her.
<p>(Susan has given her permission to share her story here, not her real name.)
<p><b><font size=4">Counting, An Exercise from The Artist's Way - Week 6 on Recovering a Sense of Abundance. </b> </font size>
<p><font color="teal"><font="alata"><b> This week Julia Cameron suggests a counting exercise. Buy a small notepad and write down every cent you spend. It doesn't matter what it is for, how tiny the purchase, how petty the amount. Petty cash is still cash. We fritter away cash on things we don't cherish and deny ourselves those things that we do. For many of us, counting is a necessary prelude to learning creative luxury.
</p></font color></font style></b>
<p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiCFB0YViEHoZvyOGZsuR0w7CvzAkLxE-tIHjOkQHK2F7WHaIqVcr1JzXnfqokPb1Dq3qaCh9LhM5EcNzaVWIW42po73bt2oClnSuXn2ij_Znjibj2TDAEdxcEaPIQTFhXeejX0gznALahHZYErbWlUTMG2WN_vdCRrmIcZRPh3hLTqiqy8sbB2jiK/s1864/the%20artists%20way%20and%20journal%20and%20pen%20polaroid.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="400" data-original-height="1864" data-original-width="1603" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiCFB0YViEHoZvyOGZsuR0w7CvzAkLxE-tIHjOkQHK2F7WHaIqVcr1JzXnfqokPb1Dq3qaCh9LhM5EcNzaVWIW42po73bt2oClnSuXn2ij_Znjibj2TDAEdxcEaPIQTFhXeejX0gznALahHZYErbWlUTMG2WN_vdCRrmIcZRPh3hLTqiqy8sbB2jiK/s400/the%20artists%20way%20and%20journal%20and%20pen%20polaroid.jpg"/></a></div>
<p><blockquote><font color="orange"><b>"Some years ago, when I was paying off my mortgage, I damaged my hands and couldn't work for a while. Budgeting suddenly became very, very important.
<p>I started to pay attention to where I was spending little amounts of money. It turned out that when I stopped spending money on small amounts, it became so much easier to save. When I sat down and worked out where my money was being spent, I decided to stop paying out money on media style movie programs.
<p>I worked out that over the years, I had paid out thousands of dollars. That really got me starting to think about where I was directing my money and what was more important to me. So Week 6 on The Artist's Way was a reflection on some of those times for me, and a rethink about my finances and what I want to be doing with my money and my abundance." </p> </blockquote></font color></b>
<p>So this week, I invite you to think about your money leaks... get a notepad, and jot down where you're spending money, and then consider if it's where you really want to direct your money. If it is, fine, if not, then perhaps you could take action to change the direction that money is flowing in.
<p>If you would like a session to explore something in your world, give me a call today on 0408 792 747.
<p>I offer sessions in The Artist's Way - a 12 week exploration. <a href="https://portmacquarie-counselling.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_2.html"> click here to find out more.</a>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-55427038785666691482023-02-12T18:03:00.016-08:002023-02-12T18:24:59.791-08:00Relationship Sessions with The Gottman Institute
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm_7lRkSRoXzWGhwL92dSGoKYpfvbbZLofWLNCYRvVTGQQCtHiTJXLdXkjNPFjEf9eSwUnW8kavKQj-2oxOS6ndGIbYL3c5ylYLWs_Bnq5PxqVTVqKQndastw31kG_jaYUGhVfJunLh50sV3HHysOPbO9UY-q1wK8Q0gFAu0KVVgRi_nvry97CnNGA/s605/Notice%20the%20Positive%20Gottman%20Institute%20Quote.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="486" data-original-width="605" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm_7lRkSRoXzWGhwL92dSGoKYpfvbbZLofWLNCYRvVTGQQCtHiTJXLdXkjNPFjEf9eSwUnW8kavKQj-2oxOS6ndGIbYL3c5ylYLWs_Bnq5PxqVTVqKQndastw31kG_jaYUGhVfJunLh50sV3HHysOPbO9UY-q1wK8Q0gFAu0KVVgRi_nvry97CnNGA/s400/Notice%20the%20Positive%20Gottman%20Institute%20Quote.png"/></a></div>
<p>Over the years after I completed my degree, I trained in a few different techniques to offer help in relationships. One of the best trainings I have studied, was with The Gottman Institute.
<p>If clients don't have any background in relationship training, it doesn't mean much to tell them the type of training I have done.
<p><font color="teal" font size="4">So I was delighted to come across a podcast on Spotify called How Not To Ruin Relationships. It's an interview Dan Harris did with the Gottmans, and it sums up the Gottman relationship sessions beautifully.</font color>
<p>If you are thinking of having a session, or are simply curious about The Gottman's and like to learn more about helping relationships to grow and thrive, you may like to listen in.
<p><center> Listen to the podcast below, click on the red arrow to play: <iframe style="border-radius:12px" src="https://open.spotify.com/embed/playlist/0UM9OoScTw67xq6XflgC7K?utm_source=generator" width="100%" height="380" frameBorder="0" allowfullscreen="" allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture" loading="lazy"></iframe>
<p>In the talk, the Gottmans mention The Sound Relationship House...
<br>here's a copy of the image.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh63BXJA9TVdmSGUJHJ2xdK_6bvOIiTIQy_iZOYHiupXoyUXZnOPL1ZXML9I9QUbU2TSenXPs4IRkIxRm8f1nHL0REK8kjqulTo_2CYY3SGiN1q4gw5lTMnIbm4y_y9LM2ib0hqLii7Tf_YsBJLxVSxIj5sGIU1gRKWzVT-KJgKOSDwdxomX2FZlPSz/s453/sound-relationship%20house-gottman.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="400" data-original-height="453" data-original-width="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh63BXJA9TVdmSGUJHJ2xdK_6bvOIiTIQy_iZOYHiupXoyUXZnOPL1ZXML9I9QUbU2TSenXPs4IRkIxRm8f1nHL0REK8kjqulTo_2CYY3SGiN1q4gw5lTMnIbm4y_y9LM2ib0hqLii7Tf_YsBJLxVSxIj5sGIU1gRKWzVT-KJgKOSDwdxomX2FZlPSz/s400/sound-relationship%20house-gottman.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p>Book a session today call: <a href="javascript:void(0);">0408 792 747</a> </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-29646036911060518032023-01-19T00:39:00.002-08:002023-02-12T18:25:46.083-08:00Relationship Minute<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNb4qkC_Nf8jX2iPx6rYkVKH5d_1spMu_CiyybndTV256GnGk-rp4LagjYvX3AsMQeplQkiyVG5MJY7BmPvhpEslyCUoxmYrbwEfwtSv-et8PUswfOgDkM3PXeCtzq_lEgaegQf0aGJslkpZv8X6wndPrxlbqamu1KJSPSLjBVnkTMeI465fIeezRh/s1600/Screen%20Shot%202023-01-19%20at%206.27.14%20pm.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="268" data-original-width="597" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNb4qkC_Nf8jX2iPx6rYkVKH5d_1spMu_CiyybndTV256GnGk-rp4LagjYvX3AsMQeplQkiyVG5MJY7BmPvhpEslyCUoxmYrbwEfwtSv-et8PUswfOgDkM3PXeCtzq_lEgaegQf0aGJslkpZv8X6wndPrxlbqamu1KJSPSLjBVnkTMeI465fIeezRh/s1600/Screen%20Shot%202023-01-19%20at%206.27.14%20pm.png"/></a></div>
<p>Make a small change this week (year?) and aim to be more polite in your relationship.
<p>Why? Politeness can reinforce the appreciation and respect you have for your partner.
<p>Remember small but significant words like, 'good morning' and 'have a good day'. A sincere greeting, a kind wish, or show of gratitude can go a long way in fostering positive feelings on both sides of the relationship.
<p>Be polite even when frustrated with your partner. Just because you are in conflict, it doesn't mean your respect and affection for them has to diminish.
<p><b>Don't treat a stranger better than you would your partner.</b>
<p>Show appreciation by saying, 'please', 'thank you', and 'I appreciate all you do'. This goes a long way in showing respect to each other.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHGrwhk2QtXSvY05TKkwhX8ECclUePaYKKANDcnjABAqmNHYfZM2dbDFla_z-ywjbGCIn7d41GEBXFMT7ngAB21F89WVo6zm-Qgabz2K5YNfg3_GHs_ggbWo8cmVVFOO6t3TGyO_80tBug5vSHzY3EPImkp3jcld8xi0LbOveBQeOiBRTAEutJLnnp/s338/Screen%20Shot%202023-01-19%20at%206.37.00%20pm.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="331" data-original-width="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHGrwhk2QtXSvY05TKkwhX8ECclUePaYKKANDcnjABAqmNHYfZM2dbDFla_z-ywjbGCIn7d41GEBXFMT7ngAB21F89WVo6zm-Qgabz2K5YNfg3_GHs_ggbWo8cmVVFOO6t3TGyO_80tBug5vSHzY3EPImkp3jcld8xi0LbOveBQeOiBRTAEutJLnnp/s400/Screen%20Shot%202023-01-19%20at%206.37.00%20pm.png"/></a></div>
<p><center> I believe we indeed need to pay attention to the small things in relationship, they really do make a difference. Little things add up.
<p>Book a session today call: <a href="javascript:void(0);">0408 792 747</a> </p>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-70494299797154411362022-11-30T20:51:00.004-08:002022-11-30T20:52:53.318-08:00Prepare your relationship for the Festive Season
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<p>Relationships are the key to a happy, healthy holiday season. Prepare for the busy season, restore relationship ties, and find more joy and closeness with your partner by doing these two things:
<p>1. Make a plan. The holiday season can leave one partner feeling unappreciated or resentful for doing all the shopping and cooking, or it can lead to another partner feeling pressured into doing things their partner’s way. But the holidays are a time to come together as a team and create a sense of balance. Talk through all the social engagements, chores, and responsibilities and determine how you’ll tackle them together. Having a solid plan you can rely on enables you and your partner to spend less time stressing and more time enjoying the holiday season.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8YA9EWkz-nGxCcVjCnNb-P-Mc18yaQpwE7moEOSXblX90L81D6n65lBXk0BdcS5tW3n3ru9kSS6HcRPbFEKrBcPD3iciFQyomoN21hkoMe4ERvBilSXKVQHhG9DFWRkCllLVvGJtQWv9lhx1JyKt-FzN7gtU28MBkKTadn9DHaKj1h-_fDsefm5U/s2048/thong%20tree%202015.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="400" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1556" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8YA9EWkz-nGxCcVjCnNb-P-Mc18yaQpwE7moEOSXblX90L81D6n65lBXk0BdcS5tW3n3ru9kSS6HcRPbFEKrBcPD3iciFQyomoN21hkoMe4ERvBilSXKVQHhG9DFWRkCllLVvGJtQWv9lhx1JyKt-FzN7gtU28MBkKTadn9DHaKj1h-_fDsefm5U/s400/thong%20tree%202015.jpg"/></a></div>
<p>2. Spend time together. You might say, "but of course we're spending time together during the holidays!", but how much of that time are you truly spending on each other? Find and set time to spend together one on one, no distractions. It doesn't even need to be that long - even just a few minutes of uninterrupted time will make a difference. Don’t let your date nights or weekly check-ins fall by the wayside. Have a stress-reducing conversation, talk about how you’re both feeling during this busy season, and be intentional about listening to each other and supporting each other.
<p>From The Gottman Institute.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgabJm-Wo_tDlRl-Js7LWheKCX-Wch_sZgmrHrrt-96k9WoEFdlYWJhTNoTXiMdpvagLXTytTFYDonB4UaFxKYvr2lc3zFW6hsNKX39lgo4rdbrCA0kLF4dcF6VyTtHAQUKL7B7sBbBhDFUMspPqAwxpWJT05LOTHp_UJk34dOue0j87owmGDA8x7Ki/s1178/Christmas%20Tree%20with%20Pink%20decorations.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="777" data-original-width="1178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgabJm-Wo_tDlRl-Js7LWheKCX-Wch_sZgmrHrrt-96k9WoEFdlYWJhTNoTXiMdpvagLXTytTFYDonB4UaFxKYvr2lc3zFW6hsNKX39lgo4rdbrCA0kLF4dcF6VyTtHAQUKL7B7sBbBhDFUMspPqAwxpWJT05LOTHp_UJk34dOue0j87owmGDA8x7Ki/s400/Christmas%20Tree%20with%20Pink%20decorations.png"/></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-30724798170631570522022-11-22T21:55:00.000-08:002022-11-22T21:55:11.148-08:00Ask for 100% of what you want - be willing to hear no.<b>About asking for what you want.</b>
<p>Some years ago my partner and I took part in a relationship workshop. The workshop leader encouraged us to ask for 100% of what you want, but be willing to hear 'no'. Of course we all got excited thinking about 100% of what we wanted.
<p>Below you'll find an excerpt on<i> Asking For What You Want</i>, from The Gottman Institute's Blog. You can attend a session based on Gottman Relationship Work at Port Macquarie Counselling... text or phone 0408 792 747.
<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtrR7Yr74Y3VzvqL-0Rj4kfTSUJot722gh6qkzDh-3EZqb0jExOAAD51QSNXXqSdG8-lVqWR53GQqAOAfL4Wx0lZozeK5RJHitYGlKty_sNiGA2ZPUc96e9qsn8dStVkHpVk-J87A1afkZeFqijPTygLYHrvsW3c2r1OGou50YUd4YcH3wtid99zzL/s4160/IMG20170802132224.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="400" data-original-height="4160" data-original-width="3120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtrR7Yr74Y3VzvqL-0Rj4kfTSUJot722gh6qkzDh-3EZqb0jExOAAD51QSNXXqSdG8-lVqWR53GQqAOAfL4Wx0lZozeK5RJHitYGlKty_sNiGA2ZPUc96e9qsn8dStVkHpVk-J87A1afkZeFqijPTygLYHrvsW3c2r1OGou50YUd4YcH3wtid99zzL/s400/IMG20170802132224.jpg"/></a></div>
<p>Here’s a scenario that may sound familiar to you. You’ve had a hectic day. Work, errands, a doctor’s appointment… you’ve been racing from one place to another and you’re exhausted. Finally, you walk in the door at 6:30 — and find your partner on the couch, watching television. They look up at you with a big smile and say, “Hi, hon! How was your day?” But you can hardly answer because you are so angry. Yes, it’s your night to cook — but they KNEW what a crazy day you were having, why didn’t they start dinner? They see the expression on your face, and ask you what’s wrong. You shake your head, and say “nothing” — then angrily walk into the kitchen.
<p>Okay, so what’s wrong with this picture? Have you figured it out yet? The answer is: You didn’t ASK for what you wanted. That’s right. The fact is, you can’t complain about not getting something that you never communicated to your partner.
<p>Rewind this scenario to the morning or even the afternoon of the same day. Maybe you made a phone call to say, “Honey, I’m running late. I know it’s my night to cook, but could you make dinner instead? I’m beat.” There’s a good chance your partner would have agreed, or if they were busy, too, maybe you’d suggest ordering in. The fact is, your partner can’t read your mind. You must ask for what you want in order to receive it.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1azQTxbsqXQDDWsFflkpwNOSfHa_1IxRQZIFaNLtZUoC7YiQkC1z5Nl8FldL3EdOYE1qfAztqesOXQm9ZUKXca5Yh9Nz4XX8ylFNNNDP59VnzaDVEDZGOwtE6YdPFUkr2CBjELXyD9P3g6btST2gsN3ajB69GIDh5j41OpVquuhbqX184Ly4aTrg5/s4160/IMG20170802102018.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="400" data-original-height="4160" data-original-width="3120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1azQTxbsqXQDDWsFflkpwNOSfHa_1IxRQZIFaNLtZUoC7YiQkC1z5Nl8FldL3EdOYE1qfAztqesOXQm9ZUKXca5Yh9Nz4XX8ylFNNNDP59VnzaDVEDZGOwtE6YdPFUkr2CBjELXyD9P3g6btST2gsN3ajB69GIDh5j41OpVquuhbqX184Ly4aTrg5/s400/IMG20170802102018.jpg"/></a></div>
<p><center><font color="teal"> IF you think about it, when you go to a cafe, you ask for what you want. You don't say, well I don't want a coffee - how would the staff know what to bring you? Yet we do this all the time with our partner, we say things like, "I don't want you to do __________ again" instead of asking directly for what it is you do want.</font color></center>
<p>And don’t forget there are many different ways to ask for what you want — and some work better than others.
<p>If you say, “You never help me change the bedding. I always have to do it myself!” you’re probably not going to get what you want. Using words like “always” or “never” is a sure way of putting your spouse on the defensive. You’re basically asking — and criticizing at the same time.
<p>If you say “If you have time, could you help me? You don’t have to if you don’t want to” — is still not asking for what you want. It’s vague and you’re almost backing off the request.
<p>The best way to ask would be: “Honey, I’d love your help changing the bedding tonight. If we do it together, it would take half the time. And I love making the bed so cozy for us with clean sheets and pillowcases.”
<p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_OHu-GbujuL1HvCVO390wVi3c-jWLuFbcp5jbNtGC8LNrlXM1imRC8ramlDxStrYS7r0xAKwbsrFS5mETi0ptaVkZFRO9ZT9GebJKxM9dVG-NCuii3W2v9_wA2JMnk5vRTWb-hfdqVuBSNmjBvUq1AZgRwSy2C_NP9YjFm-CdSbjiTpLdup_3Av8Z/s251/bed%20with%20lamps.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="201" data-original-width="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_OHu-GbujuL1HvCVO390wVi3c-jWLuFbcp5jbNtGC8LNrlXM1imRC8ramlDxStrYS7r0xAKwbsrFS5mETi0ptaVkZFRO9ZT9GebJKxM9dVG-NCuii3W2v9_wA2JMnk5vRTWb-hfdqVuBSNmjBvUq1AZgRwSy2C_NP9YjFm-CdSbjiTpLdup_3Av8Z/s400/bed%20with%20lamps.jpeg"/></a></div>
<p>Why does this example work so well? First, you’re making your desire known — help with the bedding. You then tell them why you’d like their help — it will take you half the time. Next, you give your partner clear expectations of when you want their help — tonight. And finally you tell them how much you love to make the bed cozy for you both. Bravo. You have set your partner up for success to say “yes” to your request.
<p>The point is: How you say something is just as important as what you say. And asking for what you want — effectively and respectfully — is not only a powerful tool, but one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner.
<p><font size="5" font color="teal"><center>HOW YOU SAY SOMETHING IS AS IMPORTANT AS WHAT YOU SAY".</font size></font color></center>
<p>Today’s small thing: The next time you get angry about your partner not doing something, ask yourself, “Did I verbally ask them to do this?” And if you did, how did you say it?
<p>From The Gottman Blog
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-82905779854319454432021-08-19T19:40:00.012-07:002021-08-19T19:53:28.050-07:00Self Fulfilling Prophecies..
A recent email I received from The Pacific Institute:
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<p><b>Thoughts Drive Results</b>
<p>How would you describe a self-fulfilling prophecy? Most people understand that a self-fulfilling prophecy is an expected situation, and therefore more likely to happen. Some would say that we actually cause these events to happen.
<p>For example, according to Success magazine, two different groups of psychologists were once asked to observe the same child playing. One group was told beforehand that the child was emotionally disturbed. The other group was told that the child was a genius. When the psychologists were asked to report on their observations afterward, each group had found evidence to support their preconceived ideas.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfP9-he7jg4yozjr7vcoTRq7xo6a_0XvvWxHuwlVCthBZls4jiKZOjjkJVYDVpG8jCAf1ezXjFWuF8SBwSZCDEGPYfgBR-j58ewtHbYshfD2WKN_rbjb1VuqczbukbbUFBnlMdijELNXk/s913/perspective.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="913" data-original-width="913" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfP9-he7jg4yozjr7vcoTRq7xo6a_0XvvWxHuwlVCthBZls4jiKZOjjkJVYDVpG8jCAf1ezXjFWuF8SBwSZCDEGPYfgBR-j58ewtHbYshfD2WKN_rbjb1VuqczbukbbUFBnlMdijELNXk/s400/perspective.jpg"/></a></div>
<p>Now, it’s important to realize that self-fulfilling prophecies are everyday experiences – not just laboratory experiments. What do you expect your day to be like when you get up in the morning? How do you expect your kids to behave? How much success do you expect for yourself? What do you expect for your organization’s production or sales for this month, or this year?
<p>You see, if you predict failure, failure is generally what you will find. And if you expect excellence, excellence is likely what you will get. How we think about a situation determines how we act, and how we act, more than anything else, determines the results. Our thoughts drive our results.
<p>That is how self-fulfilling prophecies work. There’s nothing magical about them. What you get in life is pretty much how you behave, coming back at you. Does that make sense?
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN5EEvdQpCBG9DbDOypspXxfvFeH9vmCP_5Wz0fQhiAaKWw0gFwd-aYJWbxhX-sli4yZ2Lc5sOSAA_q8GddsCtd3PtEN0UaquU0Rs63QwAJlAmuGmVH4d-pQN9Ua2GPy3w8qLTN4XNPwk/s1328/possibility+.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="1328" data-original-width="1297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN5EEvdQpCBG9DbDOypspXxfvFeH9vmCP_5Wz0fQhiAaKWw0gFwd-aYJWbxhX-sli4yZ2Lc5sOSAA_q8GddsCtd3PtEN0UaquU0Rs63QwAJlAmuGmVH4d-pQN9Ua2GPy3w8qLTN4XNPwk/s320/possibility+.jpg"/></a></div>
<p>Do yourself a favor this week, and see if you recognize areas where you are setting yourself up because of your expectations. If you are setting yourself up for the good, terrific! If not, what can you do to change those internal expectations, and change your life, your work, your business? For the school-age children in your life, how can you help them set themselves up to expect the best, creating self-fulfilling expectations, and work toward them?
<p>Words and header reposted from: The Pacific Institute, LLC. Copyright © 1997-2021. All Rights Reserved.
<p>To learn more visit: <a href="http://www.thepacificinstitute.com"> the pacific institute.com</a>
<p>Images: Kareen Fellows
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-7730042690859310982021-07-21T21:30:00.004-07:002021-07-21T21:41:39.968-07:00Needs
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<p>All human beings share needs, in addition to our physical needs, such as food, water and shelter, everyone of us has a number of emotional needs. We have the need to give and receive attention, to heed the mind / body connection, the need for purpose, goals and meaning in our life, which is very important.
<p>We have the need to feel connected to community and making a contribution, needs for challenge and creativity, for intimacy and a sense of control and a sense of status. Also we have the need for a sense of security in life.
<p>1) How often do you get to meet up with friends?
<br>(the need for attention and community)
<p>2) Can you and your partner really talk together?
<br>(the need for attention and intimacy)
<p>3) How are you sleeping these days?
<br>(the need for mind body connection)
<p>4) Are you happy with your diet?
<br>(the need for mind body connection)
<p>5) How much exercise are you getting?
<br>(the need for mind body connection)
<p>6) Is there anyone who you feel really understands you, and is close to you?
<br>(the need for intimacy)
<p>7) What choice do you have about what happens in your life?
<br>(the need for control and security)
<p>8) Do you have a clear sense of where you want to take things in life?
<br>(the need for purpose, what gets me out of bed in the morning)
<p>9) Do you feel excited by stuff in your life?
<br>(the need for challenge / purpose / meaning)
<p>10) What involvement do you have with people around you?
<br>(the need for community and status)
<p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/L0PKWTta7lU" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Maslow's Hierarchy, (or Pyramid), of Needs is one of the central ideas in modern economics and sociology. The work of a once little-known American psychologist, it has grown into an indispensable guide to understanding the modern world. This film explains who Maslow was, what his pyramid is, and why it matters so much.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-36151623836623960902021-06-06T16:33:00.002-07:002021-06-06T16:33:37.103-07:00What your emotions are saying...Our emotions are messages that we can sometimes struggle with. Here is what they are trying to tell you.
Are you stuck on one emotion?
<p>Perhaps using this guide, do some journalling about that emotion, cut out pictures from an old magazine and stick them into your journal. See what you learn from doing that. Find someone to talk over things with.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqQoZ2zOsLZKlvL3texTmNfGNoSgu-PBMZRACGtMYHOUOv-KEbOvXxT5Y-CLb5ZqUvkHlI5qOKTE5IWAJ3RGIxqa_DYMQZsGxmax1m2Oaog9zXPcXJsU7nY7dUmZOsPYyyva7gAb_7gdU/s750/what+your+emotions+mean+.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="600" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqQoZ2zOsLZKlvL3texTmNfGNoSgu-PBMZRACGtMYHOUOv-KEbOvXxT5Y-CLb5ZqUvkHlI5qOKTE5IWAJ3RGIxqa_DYMQZsGxmax1m2Oaog9zXPcXJsU7nY7dUmZOsPYyyva7gAb_7gdU/s600/what+your+emotions+mean+.jpeg"/></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-68138119451341081462020-12-11T23:39:00.001-08:002020-12-11T23:39:09.253-08:00The Science of Stress, Calm and Sleep
<blockquote>Even outside of a pandemic, many people struggle with maintaining healthy amounts of quality sleep and managing stress. The good news is that neuroscience offers interventions to help improve our physical and mental health. Professor Huberman discusses ongoing research from his lab, including practical applications that everyone at any age can use to manage stress and sleep better.</blockquote>
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmhl3yUW13ESjcCDugrk3DbVTPKSNwQJq4AjkbH_rxLZKV_mQso4ntmiBV5X_82wAnUZCOLXar_9zxRKBdeEsz0WG8beFK1oztgxT_ebis12gM8ysQhzGQ1uppn5iw-Ke24gvLlCU6ZQo/s2048/how+we+see++the+world+andrew+huberman+quote.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="1558" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmhl3yUW13ESjcCDugrk3DbVTPKSNwQJq4AjkbH_rxLZKV_mQso4ntmiBV5X_82wAnUZCOLXar_9zxRKBdeEsz0WG8beFK1oztgxT_ebis12gM8ysQhzGQ1uppn5iw-Ke24gvLlCU6ZQo/s400/how+we+see++the+world+andrew+huberman+quote.jpg"/></a></div>
<p><blockquote>Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist and associate professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at the Stanford University School of Medicine. He has made numerous important contributions to the fields of brain development, nervous system function, and neural plasticity (the ability to rewire our nervous system). His lab’s most recent work focuses on understanding the human neural circuits that underlie states such of stress, focus, sleep and non-sleep rest states. Much of that work is done in collaboration with David Spiegel, Willson Professor and associate chair of psychiatry & behavioral sciences.His work with Jeff Goldberg, chair of ophthalmology, involves a clinical trial to promote visual restoration in diseases that cause blindness such as glaucoma.</blockquote> Information from Stanford Alumni
<p><iframe width="500" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ft9N2-CEPzc" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-17209887479379060192020-10-27T01:24:00.002-07:002023-03-14T16:59:41.453-07:00Breathwork, Good Mental Health & Tools for the Brain<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Aw9VfsPcyLU-BVhxNAGRtoiJYC_woITMcsl9VXVFN0cn0dlApaM7vbMLXrA1QO40_mDAIu8hMmsih-3gh4gnaesJA0du3TdtvkKuIa038L_GKdI41tYitEAVM0Sqctj2x8HngF1x3u4/s2048/dr+andrew+huberman+quote.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="1598" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Aw9VfsPcyLU-BVhxNAGRtoiJYC_woITMcsl9VXVFN0cn0dlApaM7vbMLXrA1QO40_mDAIu8hMmsih-3gh4gnaesJA0du3TdtvkKuIa038L_GKdI41tYitEAVM0Sqctj2x8HngF1x3u4/s400/dr+andrew+huberman+quote.jpg"/></a></div>
<p>
<p>
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<p>
<p>Learn how age old breathing techniques are being studied in the science lab to help people of all ages reduce stress and gain better well-being.
<p><center><iframe width="500" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GlwYT7VpkNE" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe></center>
<p>Andrew Huberman, a professor of neuroscience and opthamology, with his own lab at Stanford University, explains how to control our internal state with science-backed breathwork tools.
<p>Dr Andrew Huberman researchs how the brain works (function), how it can change through experience (plasticity) and how to repair brain circuits damaged by injury or disease (regeneration).
<p>From The Huberman Lab:
<p>Our specific main goals are to:
<p>1. Discover strategies for halting and reversing vision loss in blinding diseases.
<p>2. Understand how visual perceptions and autonomic arousal states are integrated to impact behavioral responses.
<p>We use a large range of state-of-the-art tools: virtual reality, gene therapy, anatomy, electrophysiology and imaging and behavioral analyses.
<p>For more information about us, our research, our peer-reviewed publications and press coverage, please click <a href="http://www.hubermanlab.com/">here</a>.
<p><a href="http://www.hubermanlab.com/"> Huberman Lab.com</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-51083797174619710992020-09-09T17:09:00.018-07:002020-09-10T23:46:57.379-07:00MIndfulness in the time of a pandemic.<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghemiUnJgTzAoiRmtkXJ6XK_Kv9F4aTtGHXp76S9UfQvI5HbkDcV3JUsXs_tpIgRZxZeofMtZZ5kG36lBpKfA4jeMe31Pl6PwzrZwtO7_EqNzaCm1ui1nSkCAJCnXWu7lr7DZAy4LkYdk/s955/Screen+Shot+2020-09-11+at+4.21.44+pm.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="500" data-original-height="383" data-original-width="955" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghemiUnJgTzAoiRmtkXJ6XK_Kv9F4aTtGHXp76S9UfQvI5HbkDcV3JUsXs_tpIgRZxZeofMtZZ5kG36lBpKfA4jeMe31Pl6PwzrZwtO7_EqNzaCm1ui1nSkCAJCnXWu7lr7DZAy4LkYdk/s600/Screen+Shot+2020-09-11+at+4.21.44+pm.png"/></a></div>
<p>"Mindfulness provides us with a means of cultivating greater and more objective awareness of our own emotional landscape, the emotions of others, and of external circumstance.
<p>In doing so, it gives us more choice in how we respond to challenges we may face and the ability to more consciously choose where we place our attention.
<p>Wherever you are in the world we sincerely hope that you and your loved ones remain safe and healthy. In the words of one of our favourite meditation teachers: “Moment by moment we can find our way though” - Sharon Salzberg.
<p><center><iframe width="500" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/v87fVoKdS5E" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe></center>
<p><center>Mindfulness in the time of a pandemic, by the 'mother of mindfulness Ellen Langer.</center>
<p><b>Fear, anxiety & denial</b>
<p>Acknowledging that feeling fearful and anxious at a time such as this is not only normal but appropriate. Given the nature of the threat we are facing, fear and anxiety are adaptive responses as they alert us to the fact that we need to be taking appropriate action to keep ourselves and others as safe and healthy as possible.
<p>It’s also important to recognise that fear and anxiety can quickly escalate and reach a tipping point beyond which they are no longer helpful and can affect us in negative ways. When the acute stress response, otherwise knowns as the ‘fight or flight’ response, kicks in we’re not as able to think clearly or make good decisions; we become more reactive and less responsive; and our thinking can quickly spiral, becoming increasingly negative and difficult to unhook from.
<p><center><iframe width="500" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/r2efOoRF_pw" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe></center>
<p><center>Jon Kabat-Zinn - Mindfulness, Healing, and Wisdom in a Time of COVID-19</center>
<p><b>Warning signs</b>
<p>Mindfulness helps us get better at recognising and understanding our own personal signals that tell us we’re close to our tipping point. We can think of mindfulness as being like our own personal ‘fear and anxiety thermometer’ helping us get to know our own warning signs and recognise them as they’re kicking in.
<p><b>Examples include:</b>
<li>irritability
<li>losing patience
<li>a sense of urgency
<li>difficulty sleeping
<li>inability to focus
<li>catastrophic thinking
<li>ruminating
<li>eating or drinking more than usual.
<p>In addition to knowing and recognising our warning signals, mindfulness gives us the opportunity to respond by taking steps to settle and soothe our nervous system, which in turn enables us to think more clearly, make better decisions and respond as opposed to react.
<p><b>Beware denial</b>
<p>It can also be tempting to turn away from and deny the seriousness of what’s happening. Denial may be particularly appealing given the significant impact that this outbreak will have on so many people financially, emotionally or physically. While temporary distractions can be useful for giving our minds a break, on the whole denial is not a helpful approach. It can leave us vulnerable and exhausted as it may lead to not taking appropriate precautions and it’s difficult to sustain in the face of reality.
<p>Mindfulness can help us see things more clearly, which in turn helps us strike a balance between staying informed and making sensible choices without becoming overwhelmed.
<p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggLsWpjzftfpCf9RVaMFo1OjovEEwi1HbUqMjfAi0hwEc5NVKGYhn2ZB8og-KGziJyJ0TxlTLkAYcqBhrOJwVlz2sAIEf_nlwRkVoVQaJ7fePE10fm_0UaM3xhPAPO1p0iwe5wFQadKTk/s2048/10+steps+to+solving+any+dilemma.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="1563" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggLsWpjzftfpCf9RVaMFo1OjovEEwi1HbUqMjfAi0hwEc5NVKGYhn2ZB8og-KGziJyJ0TxlTLkAYcqBhrOJwVlz2sAIEf_nlwRkVoVQaJ7fePE10fm_0UaM3xhPAPO1p0iwe5wFQadKTk/s400/10+steps+to+solving+any+dilemma.jpg"/></a></div>
<p><b> Healthy brain breaks</b>
<p>Giving your brain a break when you’re nearing your tipping point can be a helpful way of deactivating the acute stress (‘fight or flight’) response. Even short moments of reprieve are beneficial as they help reset enabling us to find the middle ground between overwhelm and denial. It’s in this place that we’re able to make better choices and are best placed to support ourselves and those around us.
<p>We recommend trying out the following as often as you need to:
<p><b>Move</b>
<p>Any kind of physical movement is a great way of releasing the build-up of excess energy that accompanies the acute stress (‘fight or flight’) response – take yourself for a walk or run outside; do some stretching, yoga or some other form of mindful movement; or crank some uplifting music and dance around the house for a few minutes.
<p><b>Breathe</b>
<p>When you slow your breathing rate down the uncomfortable physical sensations of fear and anxiety start to subside. Try the following:
<li>Stop what you’re doing, take three long, slow deep breaths.
<li>Impose a rhythm on your breathing so that your out-breath becomes longer than your in-breath.
<li>Try a 4-2-6 rhythm – e.g. breathe for 4 counts, hold your breath for 2 counts, and breathe out for 6 counts.
<li>If that doesn’t feel comfortable, try imposing a 3-1-4 rhythm. The main thing is that your out-breath is slightly longer than your in-breath.
<li>Ground
<p><b>Connect to what is happening in this moment right now more consciously engaging your senses. Try the following:</b>
<p>Splash cold water on your face
<li>Take a hot (or cold) shower
<li>Cuddle your pet
<li>Smell and/or diffuse a relaxing essential oil (i.e. lavender, geranium, ylang ylang)
<li>Take a moment to enjoy a cup of tea – really pay attention to the aroma and taste
<p><center> <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO6R2jMWXt1hfiky_XGI9tx1F-2DzlOKW04WCc7OVXwGc9o0rjb9wV3_R2M8vAk6MjHa5eW5CylzStiNfMHPAQvEStJ7HhuRKI8YdpeqV19aI-mDnQEvi2N6HCPu7oWdsyVHxXy3X6UEE/s2048/IMG_1583.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="1530" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO6R2jMWXt1hfiky_XGI9tx1F-2DzlOKW04WCc7OVXwGc9o0rjb9wV3_R2M8vAk6MjHa5eW5CylzStiNfMHPAQvEStJ7HhuRKI8YdpeqV19aI-mDnQEvi2N6HCPu7oWdsyVHxXy3X6UEE/s400/IMG_1583.JPG"/></a></div></center>
<p><b> Sleep</b>
<p>When we’re fearful and anxious it can be hard to sleep. Given the importance of sleep for our mental and physical wellbeing, including immunity, establishing good habits around sleep is particularly important at the moment.
<p>Consider creating a pre-sleep routine by turning off news and screens at least an hour before going to bed. If you wake during the night and find you can’t sleep, rather than sit lay there and worry, try a meditation from the ‘Sleep’ program in the Smiling Mind App.
<p><b>Connect</b>
<p>While social connection may be tricky during this time when many people are physical distancing, staying connected to others is more important than ever as we are wired to connect and seek comfort and care from others. We are fortunate to have so much technology at our fingertips enabling us to stay connected to family, friends and colleagues.
<p>Try using video conferencing technology so that you can see each other, as we communicate best when we can see each other’s body language and facial expressions. Do your best to listen and interact as mindfully as you can with others – really pay attention to the people you’re interacting with.
<p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghC-HfaHZbRP_1MGTxrW0WTUenejpWi9GOIUSaS60e5FPhIcEfhuXK1XOue9cO9UlCINOVI1CwlU1ckmIUK0vm0vdizkcXqifSUQSr7jPyJsA671Z6znLIZ39or9fR4tx5STEcwPORTXg/s974/Screen+Shot+2020-09-11+at+4.31.32+pm.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="372" data-original-width="974" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghC-HfaHZbRP_1MGTxrW0WTUenejpWi9GOIUSaS60e5FPhIcEfhuXK1XOue9cO9UlCINOVI1CwlU1ckmIUK0vm0vdizkcXqifSUQSr7jPyJsA671Z6znLIZ39or9fR4tx5STEcwPORTXg/s400/Screen+Shot+2020-09-11+at+4.31.32+pm.png"/></a></div>
<p><b>Contribute</b>
<p>Contributing to the wellbeing of others helps shift our attention from ourselves onto what we can do for them. This helps us connect with others; gain a sense of agency, even if only in a small way; plus helping others also positively impacts our own wellbeing.
<p>Consider how you might help others at this difficult time. For example, you could support a local business you value that is likely struggling at the moment or check up on an elderly friend or relative.
<p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxLW6gwINF_4_wTQiBiBvG6OmLwW-LNICFm-Yd_3Kl_7naRUDzjKHAYKNOCRALKU4V12AZ4SXezLVR2Ww02JRBvs7P_0v-HLytccigaNqVUDIk8s-yE1tbc1fi4XmPyxHIno1iR_FGqSI/s2048/IMG_1697.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="400" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1530" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxLW6gwINF_4_wTQiBiBvG6OmLwW-LNICFm-Yd_3Kl_7naRUDzjKHAYKNOCRALKU4V12AZ4SXezLVR2Ww02JRBvs7P_0v-HLytccigaNqVUDIk8s-yE1tbc1fi4XmPyxHIno1iR_FGqSI/s400/IMG_1697.JPG"/></a></div>
<p><b>Create healthy habits</b>
<p>Mindfulness can help us create healthy habits to keep us and others as safe and healthy as possible. For example, washing your hands mindfully and taking care not to touch your face.
<p>Article by Sharon Salzburg via Beyond Blue
<p>This article was originally published by Smiling Mind.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-11386316585749170632020-08-26T13:18:00.013-07:002020-09-09T17:02:19.104-07:00Why Movement Matters<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbHoB7TagMpzRfQddGB2HAOKN3-TMW0JWpurv26_joXt1uvGhqxfkdzSeRtGtKUwgTHmygNnOlgVyHMXdQ-pnau1gyOR2bDYBQMA7lGF5slLFGmvCDAkiMBPDoKbreKec4uCx9Fxa0oh8/s2048/IMG_1017.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" width="400" data-original-height="1530" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbHoB7TagMpzRfQddGB2HAOKN3-TMW0JWpurv26_joXt1uvGhqxfkdzSeRtGtKUwgTHmygNnOlgVyHMXdQ-pnau1gyOR2bDYBQMA7lGF5slLFGmvCDAkiMBPDoKbreKec4uCx9Fxa0oh8/s400/IMG_1017.JPG"/></a></div>
<p><center>After a day's walk, everything has twice its usual value. G.M. Trevelyan</center></p>
<p>It's a hugely challenging time, we are all faced with lockdowns, restrictions and border closures. For some of us, our regular exercise program may be being challenged, adding to our stress.
<p>What form of movement do you enjoy? Most days I walk between 5-12 ks, and love it. But with the social distancing rules prohibiting dancing at venues, I've found I'm missing my dancing life. I've been noticing it affects my level of well-being. In this talk Kelly McGonical shares why movement matters.
<p><center> <iframe width="500" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qtc1iWm_KCI" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe></center>
<p><blockquote><center>"Movement will give you access to joy, that will dramaticalllly improve the quality of your life. Help support mental health and create more meaning and belonging." Kelly McGonical PHD.</center></blockquote>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-74637937143400821072020-05-21T18:42:00.002-07:002020-05-21T18:42:35.210-07:00Anger<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbmf2PhRW25YItsF2T0J76-skWg4XR7Cl8qQKi5Pe75zGhEP3m4jT1nVfl8pPRy9Ls6Uo50MRdLH9CSUkrRaNPHyIUQj0g-t15aMONqkRLU4Ll1ciaDq8PilrBmfx0ZwdUr7CzI6rMMfA/s1600/Screen+Shot+2020-05-22+at+11.39.00+am.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbmf2PhRW25YItsF2T0J76-skWg4XR7Cl8qQKi5Pe75zGhEP3m4jT1nVfl8pPRy9Ls6Uo50MRdLH9CSUkrRaNPHyIUQj0g-t15aMONqkRLU4Ll1ciaDq8PilrBmfx0ZwdUr7CzI6rMMfA/s640/Screen+Shot+2020-05-22+at+11.39.00+am.png" width="478" height="640" data-original-width="617" data-original-height="826" /></a></div>
<p>Information from The Pacific Institute
<br>www.thepacificinstitute.com Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5887845906559747577.post-69261349724995067242020-03-31T20:07:00.001-07:002020-03-31T20:24:49.243-07:00Keeping Space - Reducing Stress So how's your stress levels right now? Mine go from feeling fine to feeling anxious. The days I'm feeling fine are the days when I stop to take time to do my yoga practice, or do my yoga breathing or go for a walk. What about you, do you notice when you are feeling the stress of this current situation? Do you notice when you are feeling OK - Are you feeling OK?
<p>After visiting the supermarket this morning, and witnessing the panic in the faces and the movement of many there, I'm going to suggest that we all need to practice Mindfulness right now. Mindful of keeping space between us, mindful of being kind to ourselves to another.
<p>There's an age old practice called keeping space or holding space. It's that we give another person, unconditional positive regard. With social distancing we can move with one another in a form of dance, respecting the space and flowing with one another and it can actually be quite fun to do. As long as we aren't absolutely focussed on having to plow along mindlessly.
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzZOnXDSMV9JxsRX0ZHDCMs0v8uBXaYpOS38vCZ0wA3KHdZINlrT1qQVyDgu4eE_tpjF_6M1j8R03ec_-GkaHWyQ8RIDZvF90UB41O5zR97RLCUBlCqBWRapcWO95qncKGuomsAxrLd04/s1600/posts+lighthouse+beach+port+macquarie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzZOnXDSMV9JxsRX0ZHDCMs0v8uBXaYpOS38vCZ0wA3KHdZINlrT1qQVyDgu4eE_tpjF_6M1j8R03ec_-GkaHWyQ8RIDZvF90UB41O5zR97RLCUBlCqBWRapcWO95qncKGuomsAxrLd04/s320/posts+lighthouse+beach+port+macquarie.jpg" width="320" height="240" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1200" /></a></div>
<p>Take some time to play with the distancing when you are in the supermarket, pretend you both have magnets on, that push each other away, move with the energy. Smile even if you feel like you don't want to, something shifts in our brains when we smile. Somedays when you smile and you don't feel like it, it can feel like you're lifting concrete with your cheek bones! Recall a funny time, and then go from there.
<p>Here are two videos by two of the leaders in the mindfulness field. There are also some meditations and mindfulness practices in the videos.
<p><center><iframe width="500" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AhnfcYRotOc" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe></center>
<p><center><iframe width="500" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TiqxuoHUyG8" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe></center>
<p>I'm available to talk face to face via Skype or WhatsApp - just a matter of booking a time to connect.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com