Values - Dr Russ Harris

"Values are your heart’s deepest desires for how you want to behave as a human being."

There are many values, kindness, respect, fun, Dr Russ Harris suggests that for relationship we use the values of Caring, Connection and Contribution.

Values are your heart’s deepest desires for how you want to behave as a human being. Values are not about what you want to get or achieve; they are about how you want to behave or act on an ongoing basis; how you want to treat yourself, others, the world around you.

There are literally hundreds of different values, but below you’ll find a list of the most common ones. Probably, not all of them will be relevant to you. Keep in mind there are no such things as ‘right values’ or ‘wrong values’. It’s a bit like our taste in pizzas. If you prefer ham and pineapple but I prefer salami and olives, that doesn’t mean that my taste in pizzas is right and yours is wrong. It just means we have different tastes. And similarly, we may have different values.

Here are a list of values...

Sometimes we end up in conflict because our values clash. An exercise if you'd like to participate: Pick ten values from this list that mean the most to you, ten that mean the least. Compare them with your friends or your partner to see what values are important.

Then take some time to ponder/journal, if you are living according to your values. If the answer is yes, great good job. If no, what could you do each day to live according to your values?

ACCEPTANCE to be accepted as I am

ACHIEVEMENT to have important accomplishments

ADVENTURE to have new and exciting experiences

AUTHORITY to be in charge of and responsible for others

ATTRACTIVENESS to be physically attractive

ACCURACY to be accurate in my opinions and beliefs

AUTONOMY to be self-determined and independent

BEAUTY to appreciate beauty around me

CARING to take care of others

CHALLENGE to take on difficult tasks and problems

COMMITMENT to make enduring, meaningful commitments

CONTRIBUTION to make a lasting contribution in the world

COMPASSION to feel and act on concern for others

COOPERATION to work collaboratively with others

COMFORT to have a pleasant and comfortable life

CHANGE to have a life full of change and variety

COURTESY to be considerate and polite toward others

CREATIVITY to have new and original ideas

DEPENDABILITY to be reliable and trustworthy

DUTY to carry out my duties and obligations

EXCITEMENT to have a life full of thrills and stimulation

ECOLOGY to live in harmony with the environment

FAITHFULNESS to be loyal and true in relationships

FAMILY to have a happy, loving family

FAME to be known and recognized

FITNESS to be physically fit and strong

FLEXIBILITY to adjust to new circumstances easily

FRIENDSHIP to have close, supportive friends

FORGIVENESS to be forgiving of others

FUN to play and have fun

GENEROSITY to give what i have to others

GOD'S WILL to seek and obey the will of God

GENUINESS to act in a manner that is true to who I am

GROWTH to keep changing and growing

HEALTH to be physically well and healthy

HELPFULNESS to be helpful to others

HONESTY to be honest and truthful

HOPE to maintain a positive and optimistic outlook

HUMOUR to see the humorous side of myself and the world

HUMILITY to be modest and unassuming

INDEPENDENCE to be free from dependence on others

INDUSTRY to work hard and well at my life tasks

INNER PEACE to experience personal peace

INTIMACY to share my innermost experiences with others

JUSTICE to promote fair and equal treatment for all

KNOWLEDGE to learn and contribute valuable knowledge

MODERATION to avoid excesses and find a middle ground

NON-CONFORMITY to question or challenge authority and norms

OPENNESS to be open to new experiences, ideas, and options

LOVED to be loved by those close to me

LEISURE to take time to relax and enjoy

LOVING to give love to others

MASTERY to be competent in my everyday activities

MINDFULNESS to live conscious and mindful of the present moment

MONOGAMY to have one close, loving relationship

NURTURANCE to take care of and nurture others

ORDER to have a life that is well-ordered and organized

PASSION to have deep feelings about ideas, activities, or people

POPULARITY to be well-liked by many people

PLEASURE to feel good

POWER to have control over others

PURPOSE to have meaning and direction in my life

RATIONALITY to be guided by reason and logic

RESPONSIBILITY to make and carry out responsible decisions

REALISM to see and act realistically and practically

RISK to take risks and chances

ROMANCE to have intense, exciting love in my life

SELF-ACCEPTANCE to accept myself as I am

SELF-ESTEEM to feel good about myself

SERVICE to be of service to others

SIMPLICITY to live life simply, with minimal needs

SAFETY to be safe and secure

SELF-CONTROL to be disciplined in my own actions

SELF-KNOWLEDGE to have a deep and honest understanding of myself

SEXUALITY to have an active and satisfying sex life

SOLITUDE to have time and space where I can be apart from others

SPIRITUALITY to grow and mature spiritually

STABILITY to have a life that stays fairly consistent

TOLERANCE to accept and respect those who differ from me

TRADITION to follow respected patterns of the past

VIRTUE to live a morally pure and excellent life

WORLD PEACE to work to promote peace in the world

WEALTH to have plenty of money