Embracing Ageing

I've put this image of the front yard of an old house we once rented in a sea side town in NSW, as I'm particularly fond of old beach style cottages and the great surfy vibe they give off. They're gradually becoming a thing of the past, being ripped down for mega mansions, and in the process losing the soul of the place. I really don't like change very much, yet it's a constant in life isn't it. Whether we like it or not, life changes minute to minute, day by day, and before we know it life passes us by.

Embracing Age: Navigating Negative Comments with Grace

As we journey through life, one inevitable aspect that accompanies us is the process of ageing. It’s a journey marked by experiences, wisdom, and perhaps a few more wrinkles. However, amidst the beauty of growing older, there can also be moments of vulnerability, especially when faced with negative comments about ageing. In a society obsessed with youth, handling such remarks with grace becomes an essential skill. Let’s explore the significance of ageing gracefully and how to navigate negative comments that come our way.

Ageing: A Beautiful Journey

Firstly, it’s crucial to acknowledge that ageing is a natural and beautiful part of life. With each passing year, we accumulate experiences, memories, and wisdom that shape us into the individuals we are. Ageing isn’t just about physical changes; it’s about personal growth, self-discovery, and embracing the fullness of life. Rather than fearing the passage of time, we should celebrate the journey and the richness it brings to our lives.

The Impact of Negative Comments

Despite the beauty of ageing, negative comments about growing older can sting. Whether it’s remarks about appearance, capabilities, or societal expectations, these comments can erode our confidence and self-esteem if we let them. In a culture that often glorifies youth and overlooks the value of ageing, such comments can be particularly challenging to navigate.

Navigating Negative Comments

So, how can we handle negative comments about ageing with grace and resilience?

Practice Self-Compassion: When faced with negative comments, it’s essential to be kind to yourself. Remind yourself of your worth and the beauty of your journey. Practicing self-compassion allows you to cultivate resilience in the face of criticism.

Challenge Ageist Stereotypes: Educate yourself and others about ageist stereotypes and misconceptions. By challenging these stereotypes, we can shift societal perceptions of ageing and promote a culture of inclusivity and acceptance.

Surround Yourself with Support: Surround yourself with people who uplift and celebrate you for who you are, regardless of age. Cultivate relationships with individuals who appreciate your wisdom and experience, rather than focusing on superficial aspects.

Focus on What Matters: Redirect your focus from external validation to internal fulfillment. Engage in activities that bring you joy, pursue your passions, and prioritize your well-being. When you focus on what truly matters to you, negative comments hold less power over your self-esteem.

Respond with Grace: When faced with negative comments about ageing, respond with grace and dignity. Instead of lashing out or internalizing criticism, choose to respond with confidence and assertiveness. Educate others about the beauty and value of ageing, and lead by example through your resilience and self-assurance.

Embracing Age with Confidence

In a society that often equates youth with value, embracing age with confidence is a revolutionary act. It’s about reclaiming our narrative and celebrating the richness of our journey, wrinkles and all. By cultivating resilience, self-compassion, and a sense of purpose, we can navigate negative comments about ageing with grace and dignity. Let’s embrace the beauty of growing older and inspire others to do the same. After all, age is just a number, but the wisdom and experiences it brings are invaluable.

Maya Angelou is one of my inspirational elders, I so love her wisdom. And I have a role models page on Pinterest where I collect stories of inspiring elders click here to visit. How do you feel about ageing? Do you have any positive role models for ageing?

Steven Bartlett Interviewing The Gottmans

Drs. John and Julie Gottman are world leading relationship researchers that have been studying couples for over 40 years, publishing over 200 academic journal articles and 46 books. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. In this interview Steven Bartlett on his Diary of a CEO podcast produces one of the best talks that I have heard in a long time with Dr's Julie and John Gottman.

I loved this question at the end of the podcast: "If you could go back to the day you were born, what advice would you give your parents?"

Kareen studied with The Gottman Method and offers relationship sessions for couples and individuals. Sessions are held via Skype call today: 0408 792 747 for more information.

Compliments and Critcisms

I smiled when I read this meme on Instagram, but then I realised it contains so much to think about. The quote is by Jonathan Edward Durham @thisOneoverhere on Instagram.

I was talking with a client about compliments this week and they mentioned that they were very uncomfortable with compliments.

How are you at handling compliments? Is it easy for you? Or do you struggle with hearing positive feedback? All you need to do when someone compliments you is to say, 'thank you'.

The Gottman relationship experts suggest we turn complaints or criticism into requests in our relationships. Next time you are tempted to criticise someone, notice it, and switch to a request instead.

If you are in the receiving end of a complaint, try reframing that - often what the person was needing was the opposite.

In my family my brother complained that I never remembered one of his anniversaries. So the next year I made an entry in my diary to connect with him in that day. He said he was really grateful and we ended up closer because of me reaching out on that day.

Often the longing for connection is hidden in criticism.

So your challenge, should you choose to accept it... see if you can say 'thank you' to a compliment, and see if you can find the longing in the criticism.

Journalling Prompt:

Compliments:

In your journal, explore compliments, write about how you felt in the moment, and how you responded. If you'd like to create an art journal maybe you could find some words to cut out in a magazine, that describes your feelings. Use a circle in the centre of the page and draw colours or shapes and write around the edge.

Criticisms:

In your journal notice when you criticise, are you actually really wanting something that is hidden behind the criticism? Can you tell what it is?