I learned to love you Today

I Learned To Love You Today

You're miserable and probably one of the rudest people I've ever come across.

When I approach you, you turn away and pretend that I am not there, until you're ready.

I have tried a thousand times to make you smile, and you have tried a thousand times not to.

I have dreaded even having to deal with you. I even tried coming at another time only to find you there at all hours.

The hard, staid, look on your face remains unchanged no matter what day it is, what time it is or even what season.

A "Beautiful day!" gets a moan.

"Hello, how are you today?" always returns "The same."

I have given up on you; I have been angered by you. I have even thought about complaining to the manager, but didn't.

Then one day I caught myself acting just like you and realized that I must stop.

I finally resolved myself to the fact that you are who you are and I cannot change that.

You are a fact of my life, and I must learn to deal with it.

You made me.

The one day that I permitted myself to return the emptiness, rude behavior, terrible attitude and silent treatment, you chose to say something.

I approached the checkout and you said, "Are you Okay?" I was stunned. I could actually feel my brow, my entire face scrunch up apparently angry that you would ask.

"Am I okay?" I said in disbelief.

"Yes." you replied. "You are usually so upbeat and chipper."

I stood in this dream-like state confused by what was going on.

You looked at me and said, "I depend on you to lift my spirits every time you come in. I work three jobs, my bills are piling up, my kids need clothes for school, my husband left me and three weeks later I found out I have cancer."

I was speechless.

"Now you come in with this attitude today," she said.

I actually apologized.

I never considered that you were much more than a clerk. I never tried to understand that behind that face was personal pain, life challenges and loss.

Sure you should learn to separate work and life, but sometimes life digs in, hurts, and you end up wearing it like an ugly dress. It fits, but no one wants to see it.

Knowing now how difficult your life is, I will see you through the eyes of love.

Love is more than romantic. Love is compassionate.
Love is kind. Love is forgiving. Love is seeing beyond the pain.

"I learned to love you today."

~by Bob Perks www.BobPerks.com~
in an email from Mountain Wings.com

"Separating Self-Worth and Behaviour"

Whether you are raising kids or trying to improve your own self-esteem, the relationship between who you are and what you do is important. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, or simply trying to build your own self-esteem, it is important to realize that we need to separate our sense of self-worth from our behaviour.

Imagine this scene: A three-year-old asks repeatedly, "Mama, do you love me?" Each time, Mom answers, "Of course I do." Then the child takes her hand and leads her to a broken flowerpot or shattered toy and looks at her questioningly.

Here is a little child, on this earth only three short years, already asking one of the most profound psychological questions any of us can ask: "Is my ability to be loved tied to what I do? Am I the same as my behaviour?" The answer for all of us, no matter how old we are, should be the same, "No, indeed!"

The importance of this point can't be overemphasized. To increase self-worth, it is vital that we respond to behaviour while remaining friendly and respectful toward the person. This means that when a child misbehaves, we don't call him a "bad boy." And when a child does what we want her to, we don't say, "What a good girl!" Instead, we praise the behaviour and hug the child.

The same goes for how we treat ourselves. Remember that you are not simply what you do any more than you are what you wear.

Article by: Lou Tice

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The Pacific Institute, Inc.