In both our personal lives and professional settings, conflict often follows familiar patterns. One powerful tool for understanding these patterns is Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle. It highlights three roles that people may unconsciously step into when tension rises: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor.
The Three Roles
Victim Feels powerless, helpless, or unfairly treated. Often seeks someone to “fix” the situation or to blame for their distress.
Rescuer Rushes in to help, fix, or save others — sometimes without being asked. While it may look generous, it can actually reinforce dependency and prevent true problem-solving.
Persecutor Criticises, blames, or controls others. This role tends to use power aggressively, leaving others feeling diminished or stuck.
It’s important to remember that these are roles, not identities. People can shift between them quickly, depending on the situation.
In Relationships
In intimate or family relationships, the Drama Triangle can create cycles of conflict and disconnection. For example:
A partner may feel unheard (Victim), while the other becomes critical (Persecutor).
Another family member might step in to calm things down (Rescuer), but ends up feeling exhausted or resentful.
Over time, these patterns erode trust and intimacy. Instead of fostering healthy communication, the relationship becomes defined by blame, over-functioning, or withdrawal.
In the Workplace
The same dynamics often appear at work:
An employee feels overworked and unsupported (Victim).
A manager criticises their performance without offering guidance (Persecutor).
A colleague steps in to help but takes on too much themselves (Rescuer).
This cycle can damage team morale, fuel burnout, and prevent real solutions from emerging.
Breaking Free from the Triangle
The good news is that awareness is the first step out of the Drama Triangle. Once we notice these roles, we can choose healthier alternatives:
Move from Victim to Creator — focusing on choices and what’s within your control.
Shift from Rescuer to Coach — supporting others without taking over.
Transform from Persecutor to Challenger — offering honest feedback respectfully.
By stepping out of the Drama Triangle, both relationships and workplaces can move toward more empowering and collaborative dynamics.
✨ Takeaway: The Drama Triangle shows us how easy it is to get stuck in unhelpful patterns. But with awareness and practice, we can create healthier ways of relating that bring more connection, respect, and growth — whether at home or at work.
✨ Journal Exercise: Reflect back on all the moments of the day that stand out. What role did you take? Did you find yourself in Rescuer, Victim, Persecutor? Or Creator, Coach or Challenger?
