When we moved into our new house recently, I had this sinking feeling when I discovered that the people we had bought it off, had left the home in a dirty and unkept condition.
What started out as excitement moving into a new home slowly started to turn into disgust and disappointment at the state of the house. The exciting and tiring moving day, ended up with “oh no, now we’ve got to clean up someone else’s mess.”
It reminded me of something called the Broken Window Theory.
Back in the 1980s, two social scientists, James Q. Wilson and George L. Kelling, suggested that when small signs of neglect—like a broken window, graffiti, or litter—are ignored, it can lead to more neglect and even bigger problems. People take cues from their environment. If a place looks uncared for, it almost invites more carelessness.
And honestly, that’s exactly how this house felt. The previous owners hadn’t bothered to do the small, respectful things before leaving. It sent a message that it didn’t matter. And now we’re the ones scrubbing out the cupboards and vacuuming up cobwebs to reset the tone.
Where It Shows Up in Everyday Life
The Broken Window Theory isn’t just about houses or crime prevention—it’s about the power of small things.
At Home: One dirty dish left in the sink seems harmless. But soon it becomes two… then three… then suddenly the kitchen feels overwhelming. By tackling the little things early, we keep things feeling calm and manageable.
In Relationships: A small hurt left unspoken—like a dismissive comment or a forgotten thank you—can grow if we don’t tend to it. Repairing the little cracks helps prevent bigger rifts.
In Our Habits: Skipping a workout or indulging in that one extra treat isn’t the end of the world. But over time, those “tiny windows” of choice build up. Small acts of self-care matter more than we think.
In Communities: Picking up rubbish, saying hello to neighbours, or helping out in little ways creates a sense of pride and care. When we show we care, others are more likely to do the same.
Resetting the Tone
As we’ve been cleaning this house—removing someone else’s mess—it’s made me realise how much the little things really set the tone. Each cupboard I wipe out feels like a small promise: We’re starting fresh here. We care about this space. We’re going to make it ours.
That’s really what the Broken Window Theory is about—not perfection, but presence. Paying attention to the details that say, “This matters.”
How We Can Use This in Our Lives
Do the small things early. Make the bed, wash the cup, wipe the bench.
Tend to relationships gently. Offer the apology, send the text, give the hug.
Notice what your space is saying to you. Is there a “broken window” you could fix today that would instantly lift your mood?
Take pride in little acts of care. It doesn’t have to be grand—just a small sign that you value your home, your relationships, and yourself.
As we settle into our new home, every clean shelf and swept floor is helping us create a place that feels cared for. Because when we show care in the small things, we create a ripple effect—one that makes life feel calmer, safer, and more connected.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by “broken windows” in your own life—whether that’s in your home, your habits, or your relationships—counselling can be a gentle way to reset the tone. Together, we can look at the small steps that make life feel lighter and more manageable.
💛 If you’d like some support, you’re welcome to get in touch with me here – I’d love to help you create the fresh start you’re looking for.
🏡 And a suggestion if you are in the process of buying your own home, or considering buying... when you are negotiating contracts include that the home is to have a bond clean prior to you moving in.
