Porn Addiction

Understanding Pornography Addiction

Pornography addiction is a growing concern that can deeply affect relationships, self-esteem, motivation, and mental health. In our hyper-connected world, access to explicit content is easier than ever.

Recovery, isn’t just about quitting a behaviour — it’s about addressing the underlying stress, loneliness, or emotional pain that fuels it, and rebuilding a healthy sense of connection, intimacy, and self-worth.

If you are in relationship with someone who has a porn addiction, the following is from Dr John Gottman:

It is almost always impossible to maintain a healthy relationship in the presence of drug abuse, alcoholism, or a dependency on gambling, sex or pornography. An all too common dynamic develops in which the afflicted partner promises to 'change' but does not.

The other partner wants to believe in the transformation. Each time the addiction reappears, the sense of betrayal deepens. The addicted person must seek professional help if there is to be a chance at salvaging the relationship." From What Makes Love Last.

For some, what begins as curiosity or stress relief can gradually develop into a pattern of compulsive use. When this happens, people often find themselves caught between shame, secrecy, and a genuine desire to regain control. Dr Andrew Huberman and trauma specialist Ryan Soave explore in their discussions how brain chemistry, reward pathways, and emotional regulation all play a role in the cycle of addiction.

Dr. Andrew Huberman and Ryan Soave discuss the neurological impact of pornography addiction, why shame keeps people trapped in the cycle, and offer practical steps to help individuals break free from porn and rebuild healthy intimacy.

Ryan Soave, LMHC, is a leading expert in addiction recovery with extensive experience helping people heal from all types of substance and behavioral dependencies. Dr. Andrew Huberman is a tenured professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford University School of Medicine and host of the Huberman Lab podcast.

Timestamps

  • 00:00 Porn Addiction
  • 00:50 Impact of Porn on the Brain
  • 02:10 Real-Life Consequences & Escalation
  • 02:42 Historical Context & Modern Accessibility
  • 04:46 Strategies for Overcoming Addiction
  • 07:45 Shame & Stigma
  • 09:40 Encouraging Open Conversations

    I have added the full episode below - Tools for Overcoming Substance & Behavioural Change...


    My guest is Ryan Soave, LMHC, a leading expert in addiction recovery with extensive experience helping people heal from all types of substance and behavioral dependencies. We discuss actionable tools for breaking out of the addictive cycle and staying free of obsessions and compulsions. We also examine the relationship between trauma and addiction.

    We explore the full recovery process—from detoxing and physical stabilization to building distress tolerance. We review evidence-supported tools to structure your life at each stage of recovery and highlight the power of learning “self-directed state shifting” through yoga nidra (NSDR), breathwork, meditation and prayer.

    We explain how to recognize signs of addiction in yourself and others, and the treatment options available across all levels of resources, from residential programs to 12-step. If you or someone you know is struggling with any kind of addiction, this episode offers practical steps to break free and stay free.

    Timestamps

  • 00:00:00 Ryan Soave
  • 00:01:32 Addiction, Addictive Behaviors, Relief
  • 00:06:10 Rehab, Detox, Physical & Emotional Stability
  • 00:13:33 Sponsors: BetterHelp & Levels
  • 00:16:08 Recognizing Addition; Video Games, Parents & Responsibility
  • 00:23:38 Experiencing Real Life vs Addictive Behavior; Dopamine Dynamics
  • 00:29:38 Drugs & Feelings; Reordering Your Life; Roles, Kids vs Parents
  • 00:43:13 Tool: 30 Days Abstinence & Addiction; Impact
  • 00:46:10 Creating a Life Post-Addiction, Jellinek Curve
  • 00:55:30 Tool: Emotional Weather Forecast, Gratitude, Plan, Strivings
  • 01:02:48 Connection with Others, Mental Willpower Throughout Day, Defining Best Self
  • 01:08:39 Emotional Weather Map, Navigating Life
  • 01:10:16 Sponsor: Function
  • 01:12:03 Tolerating Stress, Sailing Analogy, Discomfort
  • 01:16:03 Building Distress Tolerance, Proactive Behaviors, Cold Plunge
  • 01:23:55 Stilling Leads to Seeing, Tool: Recognizing Stress Response; Relationships
  • 01:30:56 Yoga Nidra, Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NDSR)
  • 01:38:54 Yoga Nidra & Authenticity, Breaking Patterns
  • 01:45:45 Yoga Nidra Timing, Regulation of Autonomic Nervous System; Breathwork
  • 01:54:28 Alcoholism, Social Acceptability, Community, AA, Powerlessness
  • 02:02:23 Gambling, Kids & Susceptibility
  • 02:08:58 Transmuting Energy, Running, Dopamine, Feelings
  • 02:15:41 Cocaine, Amphetamine, Stimulant Addiction
  • 02:18:21 Overcoming Porn Addiction, Shame
  • 02:30:03 Struggle, “Discomfort Appetite”
  • 02:36:09 Addiction Treatment, Detox, Rehab Centers, 12-Step Meetings, AA
  • 02:46:54 Is Addiction the Problem?, Trauma, Stress & Addiction Cycle
  • 02:49:05 GLP-1 Agonists & Addiction Treatment?, HALT; Addicted to Stress?
  • 02:52:44 Sugar Addiction, Caffeine; Ibogaine, Psylocibin & Considerations
  • 02:59:56 Helping Someone With Addiction
  • Article Links

    "Anxiety-Free Gift-Giving" A Complaint Free World a nurturing family a simple way to break a bad habit accept your anxiety and watch it diminish albert einstein all the advice you ever gave anchors away anchors that keep you safe in a storm anchors that you need to let go of appreciation art journalling at this moment beach mandala bear cottage hospice - fundraiser Belief Systems beyond blue - keep active brene brown byron katie carl jung on mandalas cheryl richardson podcasts Christina Baldwin Journalling christmas celebrate in a new way christmas won't be the same without you Clarification a communication skill Clinical Tapping communication I statements Compliments and Criticism coping mechanisms for ptsd Counselling Tools creating mandalas daniel goleman Day of the Dead depression Diary of a CEO - The Gottmans different than you Dissolving Frustrations Dr Andrew Huberman drawing mandalas eating disorders EFT Emotional Healing emotional intelligence emotional intelligence toolkit encouragement feeling unappreciated four horsemen four lessons we all need to learn Freedom frustration getting even giving up on your dream? Gottman Institute Grief Harbouring hate and resentment healthy relationships Hedy Schleifer at The Smart Marriage Conference hedy yumi hope can be given How does divorce affect teenagers how does mindfulness reduce stress how to get more of what you want how to help those we love how to meditate in a moment I am enough. I am FEAR I learned to love you today... i love you I think of life as a wonderful play Improving your relationship Invitation to join Artists Way Group August 2015 journal exercise for beliefs Journalling for Therapy Journalling Prompts julia cameron Julia Cameron Morning Pages kahlil gibran labyrinth mandala lasting relationship Listening To Shame Lou Tice making Australia Happy mandala mandala of fragmentation mindfulness money - how's your relationship to it? Mothering Your Partner neediness in relationships one grain of sand can turn the tide people who try to belittle you Persecutor ptsd purposeful problems quote by anthony robbins on commitment quote by anthony robbins on frustration quote by carl jung Reacting in Anger relationship counselling Relationship rescue relax time out remembering sept 11 repetitive thinking Rescuer resilience resilience in ptsd respect safety Seize the small moments self respect Self-Reflection Separating Self-Worth and Behavior Shirley MacLaine soul art stress supporting tolerance susanne fincher take time to breathe today Tapping technique for depression The Adult Child Role in relationship the art of being a couple The broken window theory The Butterfly Foundation the divided brain The Drama Triangle The Human Condition the intuitive mind the neuroscience of breathwork The Peace Pavillion the power of connection the power of one the season for stress? lou tice the work tony buzan's mind mapping tree mandala mosaic trust Unconditional positive regard -- the power of self acceptance - Michelle Charfen understanding a negative emotion uplifting podcasts validation values cards Victim Video on Vulnerability Ways to take a break - learn how to soothe yourself without alcohol or drugs wellness mandala what makes love last what you do makes a difference when you are sorrowful workplace clarification world suicide prevention day 2014 World Transformation Movement would you stop to listen? you are a miracle you are the best gift you cannot be lonely you tube video creating and interpreting mandalas