"Values are your heart’s deepest desires for how you want to behave as a human being."
There are many values, kindness, respect, fun, Dr Russ Harris suggests that for relationship we use the values of Caring, Connection and Contribution.
Values are your heart’s deepest desires for how you want to behave as a human being. Values are not about what you want to get or achieve; they are about how you want to behave or act on an ongoing basis; how you want to treat yourself, others, the world around you.There are literally hundreds of different values, but below you’ll find a list of the most common ones. Probably, not all of them will be relevant to you. Keep in mind there are no such things as ‘right values’ or ‘wrong values’. It’s a bit like our taste in pizzas. If you prefer ham and pineapple but I prefer salami and olives, that doesn’t mean that my taste in pizzas is right and yours is wrong. It just means we have different tastes. And similarly, we may have different values.
Here are a list of values...
Sometimes we end up in conflict because our values clash. An exercise if you'd like to participate: Pick ten values from this list that mean the most to you, ten that mean the least. Compare them with your friends or your partner to see what values are important.
Then take some time to ponder/journal, if you are living according to your values. If the answer is yes, great good job. If no, what could you do each day to live according to your values?
ACCEPTANCE to be accepted as I am
ACHIEVEMENT to have important accomplishments
ADVENTURE to have new and exciting experiences
AUTHORITY to be in charge of and responsible for others
ATTRACTIVENESS to be physically attractive
ACCURACY to be accurate in my opinions and beliefs
AUTONOMY to be self-determined and independent
BEAUTY to appreciate beauty around me
CARING to take care of others
CHALLENGE to take on difficult tasks and problems
COMMITMENT to make enduring, meaningful commitments
CONTRIBUTION to make a lasting contribution in the world
COMPASSION to feel and act on concern for others
COOPERATION to work collaboratively with others
COMFORT to have a pleasant and comfortable life
CHANGE to have a life full of change and variety
COURTESY to be considerate and polite toward others
CREATIVITY to have new and original ideas
DEPENDABILITY to be reliable and trustworthy
DUTY to carry out my duties and obligations
EXCITEMENT to have a life full of thrills and stimulation
ECOLOGY to live in harmony with the environment
FAITHFULNESS to be loyal and true in relationships
FAMILY to have a happy, loving family
FAME to be known and recognized
FITNESS to be physically fit and strong
FLEXIBILITY to adjust to new circumstances easily
FRIENDSHIP to have close, supportive friends
FORGIVENESS to be forgiving of others
FUN to play and have fun
GENEROSITY to give what i have to others
GOD'S WILL to seek and obey the will of God
GENUINESS to act in a manner that is true to who I am
GROWTH to keep changing and growing
HEALTH to be physically well and healthy
HELPFULNESS to be helpful to others
HONESTY to be honest and truthful
HOPE to maintain a positive and optimistic outlook
HUMOUR to see the humorous side of myself and the world
HUMILITY to be modest and unassuming
INDEPENDENCE to be free from dependence on others
INDUSTRY to work hard and well at my life tasks
INNER PEACE to experience personal peace
INTIMACY to share my innermost experiences with others
JUSTICE to promote fair and equal treatment for all
KNOWLEDGE to learn and contribute valuable knowledge
MODERATION to avoid excesses and find a middle ground
NON-CONFORMITY to question or challenge authority and norms
OPENNESS to be open to new experiences, ideas, and options
LOVED to be loved by those close to me
LEISURE to take time to relax and enjoy
LOVING to give love to others
MASTERY to be competent in my everyday activities
MINDFULNESS to live conscious and mindful of the present moment
MONOGAMY to have one close, loving relationship
NURTURANCE to take care of and nurture others
ORDER to have a life that is well-ordered and organized
PASSION to have deep feelings about ideas, activities, or people
POPULARITY to be well-liked by many people
PLEASURE to feel good
POWER to have control over others
PURPOSE to have meaning and direction in my life
RATIONALITY to be guided by reason and logic
RESPONSIBILITY to make and carry out responsible decisions
REALISM to see and act realistically and practically
RISK to take risks and chances
ROMANCE to have intense, exciting love in my life
SELF-ACCEPTANCE to accept myself as I am
SELF-ESTEEM to feel good about myself
SERVICE to be of service to others
SIMPLICITY to live life simply, with minimal needs
SAFETY to be safe and secure
SELF-CONTROL to be disciplined in my own actions
SELF-KNOWLEDGE to have a deep and honest understanding of myself
SEXUALITY to have an active and satisfying sex life
SOLITUDE to have time and space where I can be apart from others
SPIRITUALITY to grow and mature spiritually
STABILITY to have a life that stays fairly consistent
TOLERANCE to accept and respect those who differ from me
TRADITION to follow respected patterns of the past
VIRTUE to live a morally pure and excellent life
WORLD PEACE to work to promote peace in the world
WEALTH to have plenty of money
