Port Macquarie Counselling and Life Coaching

The Case for Emotional Hygiene

"We'll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness? Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. He makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene — taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies."

Starting the New Year

The New Year - I think we all know about New Year's resolutions - and have probably attempted one or two things in the past - some we may have followed up and others not at all. We start out with ideas about how this year will be different - ah well I'm sure you know the scenario, I've been meaning to go to the gym for 2 years now, and get back to Tai Chi - what's your ones?

At the turning of the new year this year I watched a couple of webinars on New Year's Vision for 2015. For those wondering what a webinar is, a webinar is a seminar held on the internet alias the web - hence the name webinar. One of the webinar's that I watched was the webinar by Mary Morrissey. Mary is a lifecoach in the USA. (Mary Morrissey.com)

One of the questions that Mary asked in her webinar was: What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my personal growth in 2015? I was thinking... well one of mine is listening to webinars like this. About a moment after thinking that Mary said something along the lines of, 'perhaps it is listening to a webinar like this!'

I invite you to join me if you wish. Grab a pen and a piece of paper and write your answer to...

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my personal growth in 2015?

I had a few other answers that started to pop up around that question. Then I started thinking about various areas that I could apply that question to... At times like this I tend to use a tool like the wellness wheel. The wellness wheel can vary as to what is most important in your life, and is just a matter of adapting it to suit.

The Wellness Wheel

As I looked at the wellness wheel, I adapted Mary's question to suit the segment.

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my spiritual life in 2015?

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my social life in 2015?

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my emotional life in 2015?

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my intellectual life in 2015?

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my environmental life in 2015?

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my physical life in 2015?

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my occupational life in 2015?

I realized working with this wellness wheel, that it was missing out on creativity, a large part of my wellness - so I started to create my own wheel. And then, doing that, I wondered - where did my family fit into my wellness wheel picture? I have included my family in my version of the wellness wheel.

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my family life in 2015?

What is one thing that I am doing to invest in my creative life in 2015?

So this year I start into the New Year, working with 'what one thing am I doing' question as a focus I invite you to join in, with me, and thousands of others who have taken part in Mary Morrissey's question.

If you would like to take up the invitation, write that one thing down... and then... what steps can you take, to bring your one thing into an action. Oh and if you would like to visit Mary's website - here is the link; Mary Morrissey.com

Happy New Year - may you create something wonderful for yourself, your family and our world.

Mind The Bump

As advocates for positive mental health and wellbeing, Smiling Mind and beyondblue developed the Mind the Bump App program with psychiatrists and psychologists who specialise in Mindfulness Meditation, mental health, perinatal health and online well-being.

Mind the Bump provides tailored exercises to support your mental and emotional well-being from day one of pregnancy through to 24 months after birth. The program is for mothers, fathers, single parents and same sex couples. It can also be used by health professionals working with new and expecting parents.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the process of paying attention to the present moment, with purpose and without judgment. The activities in this App will train your brain and build your ability to be mindful. This will build your capacity to manage stress, change, and build connection.

Information from Mind The Bump...

Click here to learn more at Mind The Bump.org.au

Gratitude - Sweat the small stuff

Have you ever heard of the book, Don't sweat the small stuff? Well it's a great book, and if you haven't read it, I suggest you buy it. But lately I've been thinking that sometimes, we need to sweat some types of small stuff, and in this post, I'm going to invite you to sweat some of that sort of small stuff with me.

I invite you to notice the little things in life that often go unnoticed, that actually mean a lot. And, when you notice them, I invite you to practice gratitude, and see what little changes happen in your life.

Psychiatrist Dr. Dale Archer says, 'Gratitude is something that can be learned, practiced and developed, yielding a sense of well-being, optimism and happiness. What's more, when children see a thankful parent, they are more likely to become thankful children. Practiced overtime, gratitude as a practice is a pathway to can help to a happier life and relationships.

Right now I invite you to stop reading and think of three things you can be grateful for, and write them down...
I'm grateful for the rosebud that is blooming in my garden.
I'm grateful for my dog running to greet me when I get home.
I'm grateful for the sound of rain on my parched garden.

When we are busy focussing on what is wrong with our lives, we can miss so much of what is good with our lives. Sometimes it might take a bit of work to find anything we are grateful for at all, but if we look hard enough, there is always something.
I am grateful for the way that you listen to me.
I am grateful for the way that you bring me my cup of tea each morning.
I am grateful for the way that you call to see what sort of day I'm having.

I'm grateful for the art I see when I go on my walk
I always feel uplifted seeing it.

I'm sure that you get the point, so find the little things to be grateful for, it might take a bit of sweat to recognise the good, the lovely, the quirky, the fun, the touching small stuff, but it is there, in fact it is all around - everyday.

I so appreciated this little heart in my coffee when I received it, and it was given to me on a day when I was off to a funeral.

Ways to cultivate Gratitude:

One: Keep a journal. In the journal notice the little things, if you have a chance take a picture and paste it into your journal or do a stick drawing to illustrate it... ideas to journal about: the feeling of your child's hand in yours. The cool touch of an ocean wave on hot feet at the end of the day. The sound of a bird's call late in the evening. The crow stealing marbles from a pot plant that made me laugh.

Two: write thank you letters to people who have been there for you. Tell them how much you appreciate them - it doesn't have to be a friend. Our local post office has some wonderful people working in it for instance that make my day when I visit. Send someone like this a letter or postcard. Sark has a wonderful suggestion in her book Living Juicy. Next time you are on a neighbourhood walk, take thank you notes to leave in someone's letterbox in appreciation of their garden (or maybe of their letterbox).

Three: Use your words... tell someone face to face how much you appreciate them. We can get varied results in expressing gratitude, as many people are unused to being appreciated. Some love to hear appreciation and a big smile will appear, others may appear a little stunned, others may come back with a retort.

It might feel awkward at first to start expressing your appreciation verbally, if you aren't used to it. And... if others are unused to you expressing gratitude, it might even feel awkward to them. But, if you persist, and appreciation becomes a new habit, you'll notice that something rather lovely starts to happen.

You see we plant seeds of kindness with our gratitude. We water those seeds with our continued love and appreciation, keep doing it, and those seeds blossom and you'll be creating a happier, more peaceful life.

Four: Before you go to sleep, reflect on what you noticed through the day that you are grateful for. If you sleep with a partner, tell them before sleep what you were grateful for that day.

Well, that's my reflection on noticing the small stuff in life, and putting a tiny bit of sweat and effort into expressing appreciation, but before I head off - thank you for reading, and visiting here today.

Credits:
Photos: Art by unknown artists on the Port Macquarie Boardwalk.
Dr Dale Archer: The Benefits of Gratitude in Psychology Today
SARK: visit Sark's site here

The Exercise That Could End Your Difficulties...

Interview with Oprah and Pema Chodron...

To view more visit: Oprah Super Soul Sunday The Exercise That Could End Your Suffering Video

Dia De La Muertos - Day of The Dead

There is one thing in life that is certain, at some point during our life, we will all face the death of a loved one. We will all experience loss and when we do, grief is the emotion we will feel.

Cultures around the world handle grief and loss very differently, at present we are approaching a celebration called Dia De La Muertos or Day of the Dead.

At midnight on the 31st October to the 2 November, a feast called Dia De La Muertos - or Day of The Dead is celebrated.

It is a Mexican holiday and is observed throughout Mexico, as well as in other cultures. It is a time when family and friends gather to remember friends and family members who have died. The holiday coincides with Hallowmas, and All Soul's Day.

In Brazil Dia de Finados is a public holiday that many Brazilians celebrate by visiting cemeteries and churches.

In Spain there are festivals and parades and, at the end of the day, people gather at cemeteries and pray for their dead loved ones.

Similar observances occur elsewhere in Europe, and similarly themed celebrations appear in many Asian and African cultures. ~ Wikipedia

In our western culture, death is a difficult topic to address and most of us are very distant in our way of handling death and grief.

In the Latin american culture, while there is still a fear of death, they do not hide their fears. Dia De Los Muertos gives people a healthy way of grieving. With support from loved ones, those in grief can express their emotions through the way that they create displays, make food and art.

Dia De La Muertos Artwork

So on this Dia De La Muertos, if you have faced loss and are experiencing grief, I extend my heartfelt thoughts to you. I invite you to reach out and talk to others about the loved ones that you have lost, express your feelings of loss, remember the good days and the fun that you had together.

If tears want to fall - allow them, give the pain inside a voice; talk, write poetry, do some art, sing, celebrate with a loved ones favourite dinner with family and friends.