Money - how's your relationship to it?

Money can be one area that really poses problems for people and for their relationships. Have you noticed that money has been an issue for you? If you are in a partnership - are you one of those rare couples who have been able to work out their money together? Work together to plan and save or spend on an equal footing?

Who earns the most money can be one issue, sometimes in relationship one of the partners may like to spend, spend, spend, while the other is left to juggle payments and try to keep the finances afloat. It takes two in relationship to consider what money means, to work towards common goals. We can easily fall into parent/child dynamics easily around money.

You see if money were just money we wouldn't really have the problems we do with it. Money is also a symbol - and it can stand for love, joy, power and control. If it were only 'money' our problems would be easily solved. To understand issues that we experience as adults, it can be very helpful to revisit our family of origin. The attitudes that our parents had about money shaped our beliefs and attitudes.

Thinking back to your family...

  • Was money used to show love?
  • Was money used to control another person's behaviour?
  • Was money saved?
  • Was money spent freely?
  • Did money cause great concern?
  • Was it a topic that you heard talked about regularly?
  • Was money used to change emotions? Retail therapy?

    • Thinking of your present day life...

  • Do you use money to change your emotions?
  • Do you earn 'enough'?
  • What would be 'enough'?
  • Do you have a spending plan?
  • Do you give money to charity?

    • If you find that money issues are a regular 'problem' it could be that money is tied up with issues around power, love and control. Looking at the issues around money and facing them, you start to get insights around what is driving your spending or saving. You can take control once you can sort out the difference between feelings and facts around money. It can be helpful to have a counselor work with you to start to learn how to identify the issues around money so that you can move into a successful way of handling your money life.

    © Kareen Fellows

    Labels

    "Anxiety-Free Gift-Giving" A Complaint Free World a nurturing family a simple way to break a bad habit accept your anxiety and watch it diminish albert einstein all the advice you ever gave anchors away anchors that keep you safe in a storm anchors that you need to let go of art journalling at this moment bear cottage hospice - fundraiser beyond blue - keep active brene brown byron katie cheryl richardson podcasts christmas celebrate in a new way christmas won't be the same without you Clarification a communication skill communication I statements Compliments and Criticism coping mechanisms for ptsd creating mandalas daniel goleman Day of the Dead depression Diary of a CEO - The Gottmans different than you Dissolving Frustrations Dr Andrew Huberman drawing mandalas eating disorders emotional intelligence emotional intelligence toolkit feeling unappreciated four horsemen four lessons we all need to learn Freedom frustration getting even giving up on your dream? Gottman Institute Grief Harbouring hate and resentment Hedy Schleifer at The Smart Marriage Conference hedy yumi hope can be given How does divorce affect teenagers how does mindfulness reduce stress how to get more of what you want how to help those we love how to meditate in a moment I am FEAR I learned to love you today... i love you I think of life as a wonderful play Improving your relationship Invitation to join Artists Way Group August 2015 julia cameron kahlil gibran labyrinth mandala Listening To Shame Lou Tice making Australia Happy mandala of fragmentation mindfulness money - how's your relationship to it? Mothering Your Partner neediness in relationships one grain of sand can turn the tide people who try to belittle you Persecutor ptsd purposeful problems quote by anthony robbins on commitment quote by anthony robbins on frustration quote by carl jung Reacting in Anger Relationship rescue relax time out remembering sept 11 repetitive thinking Rescuer resilience resilience in ptsd Seize the small moments self respect Separating Self-Worth and Behavior Shirley MacLaine soul art stress supporting tolerance susanne fincher susanne fincher mandala take time to breathe today technique for depression The Adult Child Role in relationship the art of being a couple The Butterfly Foundation the divided brain The Drama Triangle The Human Condition the intuitive mind The Peace Pavillion the power of connection the power of one the season for stress? lou tice the work tony buzan's mind mapping tree mandala mosaic Unconditional positive regard -- the power of self acceptance - Michelle Charfen understanding a negative emotion uplifting podcasts values cards Victim Video on Vulnerability Ways to take a break - learn how to soothe yourself without alcohol or drugs wellness mandala what makes love last what you do makes a difference when you are sorrowful workplace clarification world suicide prevention day 2014 World Transformation Movement would you stop to listen? you are a miracle you are the best gift you cannot be lonely you tube video creating and interpreting mandalas