We all need ways to soothe ourselves without alcohol or drugs. Here are a few ideas, what are some of yours?
Helping a loved one with PTSD
What is PTSD? PTSD stands for post-traumatic stress disorder. It can develop after a person has experienced or witnessed something frightening, overwhelming or life-threatening.
Our minds and bodies have a remarkable ability to respond to danger. After a traumatic experience, it is quite normal to feel shaken, anxious, on edge, have difficulty sleeping, or find yourself thinking about what happened. For some people, however, these reactions continue long after the danger has passed and begin to interfere with everyday life. This is when post-traumatic stress disorder may develop.
PTSD can affect people of all ages and backgrounds. It can happen after a single traumatic event or following repeated or prolonged trauma.
Some professions can involve greater exposure to traumatic events. Police, ambulance officers, firefighters, members of the armed forces and some health professionals may regularly witness serious accidents, injury, death or other distressing situations. However, PTSD is certainly not limited to these professions.
Trauma can happen to anyone.
PTSD may develop after experiences such as:
It is important to remember that two people can experience the same event and respond very differently. Not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD, and having a strong reaction does not mean that someone is weak.
What can PTSD feel like?
PTSD can affect both the mind and the body. A person may experience unwanted memories, nightmares or flashbacks, as though the event is happening again. They may avoid places, people or conversations that remind them of what happened.
They may also feel constantly on guard, easily startled, irritable or anxious. Sleep can become difficult, concentration may suffer, and some people feel emotionally numb or disconnected from themselves and others.
Sometimes people don't realise that what they are experiencing may be connected to an earlier traumatic event. They may simply feel that something has changed and that they are no longer quite themselves.
Healing after trauma
There is help available for PTSD, and people can recover. Finding the right support can make a real difference. Different approaches work for different people, so if one form of treatment doesn't feel right or hasn't helped, it doesn't necessarily mean that nothing will.
Support might include talking with a suitably qualified mental health professional, learning ways to calm the nervous system, developing a greater understanding of trauma, and gradually rebuilding a sense of safety.
You don't have to wait until things become overwhelming before reaching out for support.
Helping someone you care about
If someone you love is experiencing PTSD, your patience and understanding can be valuable.
Sometimes simply having someone who is willing to listen, without judgement, can be an important part of feeling safe again.
If you or someone you care about is struggling after a traumatic experience, professional support can help.
Further information and support
For current Australian information about PTSD and available support, see trusted mental health and government resources such as Healthdirect, Beyond Blue and the Australian Government Department of Veterans' Affairs.
If you would like some support exploring your emotions, relationships or the challenges you are experiencing, counselling can provide a safe and supportive space to slow down, gain perspective and develop a deeper understanding of yourself.
How Does Mindfulness Reduce Stress?
Mindfulness: A Simple Way to Reduce Stress
When life feels busy, stressful or overwhelming, our minds can easily become caught up in everything that has happened, everything that might happen, and everything we think we should be doing.
Mindfulness offers a way to step out of that constant mental chatter and return our attention to the present moment.
Rather than trying to empty your mind or make stressful thoughts disappear, mindfulness teaches you to notice what is happening without immediately getting caught up in it. You might notice your breathing, the feeling of your feet on the floor, the sounds around you, or simply the thoughts and emotions passing through your mind.
This can help calm the body's stress response and create a little more space between what happens and how we respond. With regular practice, even a few minutes a day can help us become more aware of our thoughts, emotions and habitual reactions.
You don't need to sit cross-legged on a mountain to practise mindfulness!
You can practise while drinking your morning coffee, walking along the beach, gardening, washing the dishes or simply taking a few slow breaths and paying attention to the moment.
Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do when life feels overwhelming is to pause, breathe, and come back to where we actually are.
For Mindfulness Sessions and Training:
Can Mindfulness Increase Resilience to Stress
"If you want to reduce stress in your life, be aware of how much you tend to take personally things that actually aren't personal."
Fight right - tips
Fight Right: It’s Not About Winning
Every couple has disagreements. The goal of a healthy relationship isn’t to never argue — it’s to learn how to handle those difficult moments without damaging the connection between you.
When conflict becomes heated, it can be easy to slip into criticism, defensiveness, blaming or shutting down. Unfortunately, these patterns often make the original problem even harder to resolve.
Fighting “right” means learning to slow things down, listen to understand rather than simply respond, and talk about the issue without attacking your partner.
It also means remembering that you are on the same team. You may see things differently, but the goal is not to prove who is right. The goal is to understand each other and find a way forward.
The short video below offers some practical tips for handling conflict more constructively.
Sometimes a small change in the way we approach an argument can make a very big difference to a relationship.
If you would like some support exploring your emotions, relationships or the challenges you are experiencing, counselling can provide a safe and supportive space to slow down, gain perspective and develop a deeper understanding of yourself.
De stress these holidays - and make the season bright
The holiday season can be a stressful time for many of us. There can be so much to think about – what to buy, money, family expectations, visitors who stay a little too long, difficult relationships, in-laws, social commitments and all the things that seem to need to be done before Christmas arrives.
Sometimes the stress isn't just about what is happening around us. It is also about what we keep thinking about.
Have you ever found yourself mulling over a situation and noticed that the more you think about it, the worse you feel?
Perhaps you replay an argument, imagine what someone might say, remember something that happened years ago, or run through a conversation in your head that hasn't even happened yet. Before long, your body may be responding as though the situation is happening right now.
Our thoughts don't just stay in our heads. They can influence how we feel in our bodies and how we respond to the people around us.
But there is another possibility.
What if, when you notice yourself caught in a stress loop, you gently redirected your attention?
Think for a moment about somewhere in nature that you love. Perhaps it is the beach early in the morning, a favourite garden, a quiet bush track or somewhere you have travelled. Think about music that makes you feel good. Think about people you love. Notice the little things around you that bring pleasure – sunlight coming through a window, flowers beginning to bloom, birds in the garden, the smell of something cooking.
What happens in your body when you give your attention to those things?
Perhaps your shoulders drop a little. Perhaps your breathing changes. Perhaps you feel a little lighter.
This doesn't mean we can simply choose our emotions or think our way out of genuine sadness, grief or difficult circumstances. Some feelings need to be acknowledged and experienced. But we can become more aware of where we are placing our attention, and whether repeatedly going over something is actually helping us.
Sometimes the most helpful question isn't, "How can I stop feeling this?" but rather, "What do I want to give my attention to right now?"
When you notice yourself caught in a stress loop, pause and ask:
What am I thinking about?
Is there something I can actually do about this?
If there is, what is one small thing I can do?
If there isn't, where else could I place my attention right now?
For some people, Christmas can also bring sadness. Perhaps the children have grown up and left home. Perhaps someone you love is no longer here. Perhaps family relationships have changed, or Christmas brings memories of happier times.
We don't have to pretend those feelings aren't there. But we can also make room for something new.
Perhaps you could decorate the house this year simply because you enjoy the lights and colour. Not because you have children at home. Not because Christmas is supposed to look a certain way. Just because you like it.
Perhaps you could put the decorations up and notice the memories they bring, while also allowing yourself to create new ones.
There is something lovely about remembering that the present moment is the only moment we can actually live.
The past has happened. The future hasn't arrived. But this moment is here.
So perhaps this Christmas, instead of making happiness the goal, make kindness the goal.
Give someone a genuine compliment. Offer to help. Send a message to someone who might appreciate hearing from you. Notice someone's effort. Let another driver into the traffic. Sit and listen. Do something kind without needing anything in return.
And when you catch yourself mulling over the things that make you angry, anxious or sad, notice it.
You don't have to argue with your thoughts. You don't have to force yourself to be positive.
Simply notice where your mind has gone, take a breath, and gently bring your attention back to where you are.
Back to the people around you. Back to the garden. Back to the music. Back to the sunlight. Back to the cup of tea in your hands.
Back to this moment.
Because sometimes reducing holiday stress isn't about making everything around us perfect.
Sometimes it is about learning to choose, moment by moment, what we give our attention to.
If you would like some support exploring your emotions, relationships or the challenges you are experiencing, counselling can provide a safe and supportive space to slow down, gain perspective and develop a deeper understanding of yourself.
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