Shame – The Feeling We Don't Like to Talk About
Shame is one of those emotions that most of us would rather avoid. We may feel it, but we don't always have words for it. Instead, we might withdraw, become defensive, criticise ourselves, or try very hard to hide the parts of ourselves we don't want others to see.
There is an important difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “There is something wrong with me.”
Guilt can sometimes motivate us to make things right. Shame, on the other hand, can leave us feeling exposed, unworthy and disconnected from others. It can make it difficult to ask for help or to let someone really see us.
Shame often grows in secrecy. When we are able to talk about the things we feel ashamed of with someone who responds with understanding rather than judgement, shame can begin to lose some of its power.
Sometimes the first step in moving beyond shame is simply being brave enough to say, “This is something I find difficult to talk about.”
If you would like some support exploring your emotions, relationships or the challenges you are experiencing, counselling can provide a safe and supportive space to slow down, gain perspective and develop a deeper understanding of yourself.
