Fight, Flight or Freeze: Understanding Your Stress Response
Have you ever found yourself reacting strongly to a situation before you've had time to think about it?
You might become angry or defensive, feel an overwhelming urge to get away, or suddenly find yourself unable to think clearly or respond at all.
These reactions can be part of your body's natural fight, flight or freeze response — an automatic survival response that helps us deal with situations we perceive as threatening or stressful.
Fight
The fight response prepares you to confront what feels threatening.
You might become angry, argumentative, defensive or controlling. Your heart rate may increase, your muscles may tense and you may feel ready to protect yourself or someone else.
Sometimes this response can show up in relationships as criticism, blaming, raised voices or becoming easily irritated.
Flight
The flight response prepares you to escape from a perceived threat.
You might feel restless, anxious or desperate to get away. You may avoid difficult conversations, keep yourself busy, leave the room or distract yourself from uncomfortable feelings.
In relationships, flight can sometimes look like withdrawing from a conversation because it feels too overwhelming.
Freeze
The freeze response can happen when your nervous system feels overwhelmed and doesn't know whether to fight or escape.
You might go quiet, feel numb or disconnected, struggle to find words, or feel as though your mind has suddenly gone blank.
Freezing isn't a sign of weakness. It is another automatic protective response.
Dr Daniel Siegel presenting a Hand Model of the Brain
Why Understanding This Can Help
When we understand our stress responses, we can begin to notice what is happening before reacting automatically.
You might ask yourself:
What am I feeling right now?
What is happening in my body?
Do I want to fight, get away, or shut down?
What might I need in this moment to feel safer and more settled?
Sometimes simply recognising "I'm in a stress response right now" can create a little space between the feeling and the reaction.
With practice, breathing slowly, grounding yourself, taking a short pause, or stepping away from a heated situation can help your nervous system settle before you respond.
The Teenage Brain
From Automatic Reaction to Choice
Our fight, flight and freeze responses are not something we need to get rid of. They are part of the body's protective system.
The goal is to become more aware of them, understand what may be triggering them, and develop ways of returning to a calmer state so that we have more choice in how we respond.
Mindfulness and Neural Integration: Daniel Siegel - how we can combine with technology and self regulation.